A
female
age
51-59,
*etrona
writes:my boyfriend of 4 years just left a month ago for a job abroad..i don't have complaints against him while he was still here with me because most of the time we get along so well. i always tell him that i am so happy having him..before he left, we have plans of migrating abroad and now we are on the process of waiting for our visa issued..on the first few days when he left, he always text me and tell me that he misses and loves me..but after the 3rd week he seldoms text me anymore and never text me if i could be online so we could chat..until i could no longer bear the thought of him acting distant to me..so i asked him and he told me that it's because of the place he is still adjusting and also he is still consider his new job and also the conflict i had with his niece and he is reconsidering if we will pursue with our application for an immmigrant visa abroad..these pisses me off but i didn't tell him, i just replied for him to take care of himself..after that i don't send him text anymore and last night he called but i haven't answered because i was not around..what should i do? should i believe him when he told me he has second thoughts on our application for an immigrant visa abroad, when we already filed it and spent a large amount in the processing of the visa..my only wish is for us to be together soon and the application for an immigrant visa abroad is my only hope because of his lifelong dream of being able to work and live abroad..please advise me on what to do and don't do in order for him to make our plans of reuniting come true. and also what will i do so he will be close to me like before..thank you so much..
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 November 2011):
 Oh i am not as hopeful as Aunt Honesty. I see LDRs crumble so easily...
are you both the same age range? have either of you ever been married or have children?
So the first three weeks, all was well. lots of contact and texting.. .then all of a sudden he dropped off... hmmm..
I would think that adjusting to a new place would be harder earlier on... 3 weeks in and all of a sudden he has no time for you... AND NOW all of a sudden a conflict with his niece that never previously was an issue is NOW a big enough issue to warrant RETHINKING your moving to be with him.
bottom line: (and I am sorry to say this to you) but I believe he's met someone else.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 November 2011):
 You need to communicate with him, when he told you he was having second thoughts well you never even tried to fight for him, this is probably telling him that you can't want it all that much or else you would be demanding answers and trying to work things out. What was it that happened with his niece? Am guessing whatever it was it has upset him and maybe that is why he has been so distant. You need to talk to him and soon. Tell him how you feel about him, tell him you love him and want to be with him and ask him is he still having second thoughts. Fight for the relationship. Try and fix any problems that there is with communication. Talk to him about how he feels and tell him how you feel get the air cleared. good luck.
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