A
female
age
26-29,
*inkpanda
writes: I love my boyfriend to death. No one can doubt that. We've been through a lot, he's even saved me from wanting to take my own life. But theres one thing that bugs me about him. He's a Momma's Boy. And his Momma does NOT like me. I'm his first kiss and his longest relationship. She thinks he can do better, and I know he can. How can I tell him I'm insecure about his mother influencing out relationship without causing a huge fight?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 December 2009):
Instead of casting doubt on his mother, why not try to cultivate her admiration by being a superb person, girlfriend, friend and daughter? I'd also start talking about how much you admire her for..... well, whatever positive attributes you can find. She did raise him, she is his mom, she must have something going for her. So when you are talking to him about her, say something like, "oh, I think the world of your mom, she's done such a great job with you, and I know I love you, so by extension, I love her! I know she has doubts about me, and I just want to let you know that I will be a great girlfriend and try to prove her wrong!"
The key is to become friends with her; if you approach her with loving feelings and an air of forgiveness, rather than with antagonism, or an idea that it's Mom vs. Me, you'll have a better chance of balancing her influence over him. Keep in mind, if he is in your same age bracket (13-15), she is responsible for him until he becomes legally of age. You can't make her go away, you shouldn't try to interfere in his relationship with her, you should be trying to project your best side, your positive attributes, your strengths.
Good luck!
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