A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my fiance for 3 years we have been engaged for 2 and living together for 1. I just found out he cheated on me with a girl I had suspected him of cheating on me with.He lied and lied about it until I told him she gave me information she would only know from being in our house. I also have had issues with the fact that his parents hate me and I fear he lies to them about our relationship. In the past year he told them we broke up because they didn't want me dating him. The girl is his best friends little sister and the entire family stalks him and pushes her on him all the time. He is a great guy but he doesn't know how to be mean intentionally so when she texts him he just answers.I also believe she thinks we are not together because he has told her we arent so his best friend will not bug him. I don't know what I can do or if I even want to stay with him but I am looking for a little advice on what other people think of my situation.
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female
reader, jackson2009 +, writes (18 October 2009):
this is me the original poster...I realized it was easiest to get a name after I had already posted it and couldn't repost the same question. I wanted to clarify a few things to help make things clearer. Okay let me start with why I think he's worth keeping around. Well to start off i'm a cutter,I have severe anxiety and depression and have been raped as well as molested in my past. My fiance is the most loving and understanding person when it comes to helping me deal with all these things. I can always tell him anything and other than this one time he has never so much as made eyes at another girl. We are a sort of opposite type couple but we kind of balance each other out and we just seem to make sense. I say it was cheating because they had been talking as friends for some time as it is his bff's little sister. I knew from a while ago she had a huge crush on him but wasn't very threatened and was pretty confident about having nothing to worry about. I then started to worry when it became an everyday she was texting him thing and she had posted somethings online about her dating someone and from other things it appeared she was saying she was dating him. I was confused because I saw messages to and from and there was nothing really being said other than small talk and such. I sort of laughed about it with him and we made jokes about her being a stalker and such. One weekend I was at home and she happened to come to our house(we live together) and when she left they kissed. I know for a fact that it was just a kiss because of messages I have read about it between them. I think she just took the fact that they talked as a sign they were dating they never went on any dates, hung out by themselves alone other than this one time and the one kiss. He says he immediately freaked out because he knew what a big mistake he made and decided he had better not say anything because he knows how well I do not handle stress. He tried to keep it a secret but with her always posting things online and her sister in law/brother always trying to start problems with me I started to get a little bit nervous something was going on behind my back. In the end he feels worst about not just telling me right when it happened. He has agreed to do anything it takes to work back my trust. He has told her to not contact him ever again and has cut all ties with his best friend who he is the godfather of his son over this issue(he has been harassing me and him about dating his sister even though they were never dating). I do fault him for not telling the truth and for not nipping it in the bud sooner as he has issues being authoritative sometimes. He should have stood up to his friend and they're family sooner and just said shove off I won't ever date you're sister but he sort of just said I know I'm not dating her so who cares it will go away approach(until I went all detective on him). Anyways more or less he has also agreed to go to couples counseling to try and help us move past this issue together and is proven to me alot already in terms of steps hes making to makeup and help move on from this. I still would love to know what people think of the situation with the rest of the information smoothed over and included. thankyou
A
female
reader, RCK  +, writes (15 October 2009):
Your decision but my opinion is to drop him. How can you trust him again after everything he has done to you? It's like your second to him and nobody appreciates you for who you are in his family. I mean why tell people in the first place that you two are not together and your both engaged to each other?? Hows he going to explain things when you guys get married? Are you hoping that he will come to his senses and everything will roll over and you two will have a great wedding and he will only have eyes for you? Really think to yourself why you are in a relationship with him in the first place? Is it because you love him? You don't want to be lonely? What ever it is work out a solution to how you can overcome it before you start feeling like you are worthless and you are dependant on him. You can do it!!! Good Luck..
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