A
female
age
41-50,
*ixedUp_n_Confused
writes:I have been married 6 years now. We met when I was barely 20 and were married 2 years after. We have two children (one from his previous marriage)and I'm trying to act like I'm happy in my marriage for them. I just don't know how long I can do this for. I don't want them to come from a broken home (again for our oldest), but I'm finding that I just don't love my husband anymore. The more I think about our relationship, the more I'm realizing that I don't think I was ever in love but more mesmorized for lack of a better word. We have faught from the beginning but I chalked it up to both of us being strong minded. I just feel like I'm loosing my identity and who I am. He's never been abusive and he's a great dad, which makes me feel even more guilty. Should I stay and suffer in silent, or should I risk tearing up our family just so I can try to be happier??? I don't know what to do and I'm scared!!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): Well ME! i am in the same boat! Married for 3yrs have 3 kids and not in love at all. We been back and forth for 2yrs and we are still at it. I left him several times and end up back together over guilt. Because he is a good man and a good father. I told him i didnt love him, i dont want to sleep with him anymore, and the man does not care. he is willing to work it out till the end. All he tells me is that i am going through a stage of something???? and everything will work out in the long run. So now i am just thinking what do i want to do? I have a faithful man, good man, a good father, someone who will go to the end with me, and i just love his personality and the great guy he is but i do not have the love or the connection. Soooo tell me what will you do? Lol good luck to both of us!!
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (10 September 2007):
 Hi
Ive been in the exact same situ. I was 29 when i left in the end. We had 2 kids and he was a great guy, i just didnt love him anymore and i know i felt like i hadnt lived. I had been with him nearly 10 years.
I went to counselling in the end to help me deal with the guilt and eventually told him it was over.
All is fine now, that was 7 yrs ago and he sees the kids regular and is settled with someone else. Im not! haha
Everyone is happy!
Dont ever stay with someone because of kids. I tried that and i just couldnt do it in the end.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (10 September 2007):
 Yeah you can stay because you think that it will make everyone else happy, but what about you do you not think that you deserve to be happy also???
You will not do any of you any favours in staying in a marriage that you are no longer happy in, and do you really think you will get any thanks from anyone for doing that.
Both you and your husband are young enough to start over again and find someone you are truly happy with.
As hard as it is on the kids they are stronger than we think they are and i'm sure they would rather you be happy.
Take care.xx.
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