A
male
age
36-40,
*ustaGuy
writes:Hey all,So my ex,I cared and loved her, we never argued, had similar interests, could talk to each other for hours, we enjoyed each others company, we spent all our spare time with each other, we would talk online each night if we weren’t together, we were always affectionate towards one another and we were always a romantic couple - we even occasionally joked about marriage! We seemed perfect!So she completely broke my heart when she broke up with me the day before she was to fly home for the summer for 3 months. This came totally out of the blue and I didn’t expect it. She was very blunt and cold with the break-up which surprised me. She promised me there was no one else.So the summer has almost passed and I managed to maintain just about no contact, only a reply to a few emails, I kept it light hearted and never mentioned 'us'. It has been a bad summer for me, I missed her terribly and felt as if my world had collapsed, I would have done anything to see her again. I felt depressed and was hurting real bad.Over the past 2 months I thought I was slowly recovering, but I have just found out she has returned home again today. What I thought was me getting over her I now think was just me secretly thinking she would come back to me when she returns.All my feelings have come rushing back with the knowledge she is only a 2hr train journey away, I feel as though I am right back at square one - or did I even get past that! She posted pictures on facebook of herself at her summer home and I almost cried because she looked so beautiful and I know she used to be mine.Now I don’t know what to do, I feel the terrible heart ache is stronger than ever now.I still believe she broke up with me because she couldn’t handle the distance over the summer and i think there was also pressure from her parents to break it off. I would like to speak to her to see if we can try again. Should I wait for her to make contact again? I have been very patient over the summer. There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, I cant imagine being with anybody else. Its been 3 months since we broke up and I still don’t feel much better about the whole thing. Any advice or perspectives would be greatly appreciated.Dam I miss her so much………..:(
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male
reader, JustaGuy +, writes (11 September 2007):
JustaGuy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks for the advice so far.
I have only been awake for an hour and already she has consumed my thoughts, I miss her so much its hard to bear.
How do i draw the line between being passionate and determined, or clingy and desperate? I really feel I need to try again, the breakup was all so sudden and she was always being spontaneous.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): If you want her back, go out there and try your damned hardest, throw everything at it, I don't mean desperation but with passion and strong determination. Know what you really want more than anything else and take it. Because if you don't, you will forever wonder if things could of been different, if only you tried to make the difference. And with that simple knowledge you would break. Your heartache would become something worse, it would become nothing, an empty void.
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A
female
reader, klairlou +, writes (10 September 2007):
 i understand your feelings - we all go through this at some stage in our lives but you have to think on the positive side.....i know you have most probably heard this saying so many times before but its true- there are plenty more fish in the sea- it may not seem like it now but time is a great healer- try doing new things to keep your mind occupied- get a new look, go to new places- have fun! but whatever you do dont contact her first - if she felt the same way about you as you do her, she wouldnt have left it this long- the sooner you face up to that the sooner you can move on- good luck and keep your chin up!
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