A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been married nearly 5 years and have 2 lovely kids. for a long while myself and my husband don't seem to get on at all during the day, i don't know if it is to do with the way we are with the children. i am sometimes soft with the children but my husband is strict which starts off most of our rows. every arguement we have he starts bringing my family down and tells me he knows things about my parents that would destroy me. if we are out anywhere and he doesn't get his own way he will embarriss me by shouting and causing a scene and shouting really nasty hurtful things. he does work most of the time and we get on great then but every day he is not we just argue over anything. i think he has an anger problem but thinks he is perfect, i do love him and would want nothing more than for him to change. he is a good dad and at night can be a good husband but during the day he is a completley different person. i don't know what to do anymore because he really believes that he does nothing wrong, i cant take much more and its not fair on the kids. can someone help? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jalmetha  +, writes (12 June 2009):
 i'm so sorry that you are living like this.
you are too conflicted, you are saying he is a good father but later say that it is not fair to the kids. It's got to be one or the other.
if you want to stay in this relationship, for starters you need to standup for yourself. you say he will embarass you in public. Don't let him. If he gets loud either ignore him or get back in his face. He gets your goat because you let him.
But i'm unsure why you would want to be with someone who says hurtful things. life is hard enough. You don't need a partner you treats you badly.
Tell him that he has really hurt you the two of you need to start over you so you can once again trust and feel comfortable with him. If he refuses, slowly move out to your parents. Take some of your things over everyday until you can take all of your things at once and leave. He will come home from work and you and the children will be gone. Leave him a note saying that you need a trial seperation until he seeks counsuling. If he doesn't you should stay gone.
Being in a relationship like that will erode at you self worth. Be strong for you and your children and take action before you loose yourself.
|
