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female
,
anonymous
writes: basically i have been with a guy for 4+ years.we got engaged last year and WERE due to be married in a couple of months. we have been through a lot of struggles, ranging from him lying to me to being in court. also he has cheated on me. i have supported him through everything and stuck by him. we are the same age and he has always been reliant on me. we met when we were 18.because of all our problems when things got tough a few months ago i would question whether we should marry and i would say this to him. not once did he agree. he even cheated on me and i found out but still we were going to get married, i said that id put it behind me as long as he worked to gain my trust. he did. now he has called everything off. wants to be a batchelor. we dont even see each other or anything.now i am pining for him just want everything back to normal. in my head i wonder' how well do i know him really?!' because it seemed like he wanted a batchelor lifestyle with all the comforts of having me there aswell.I just want him back, i miss him and dont really know what to do. do i move on or do i try to get him back? if i try to get him back, then how?he used to txt me and ring me, the first few weeks i would ignore him, then i called him. we spoke and he said he would call me. he didnt, just went back to txting me. but when i want to txt or call him he tells me to leave him alone. when he calls or txts he expects me to respond. why is he doing this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Mr S  +, writes (22 July 2006):
 Affairs of the hart are always difficult answer. I have seen men and women treated appallingly by there partners. The question is often asked by others why? The answer is often simple it’s because they can.
I have seen men that get a sick pleasure out of cussing pain to there ex-partners or girlfriends. They think it’s clever to have there old partners on a string and seeing how hard they can pull the string. This is not a clever way to treat someone you supposedly once loved.
If you think that your ex is doing this to you then I would suggest that you see these actions for what they are, insensitive, barbaric and sick. You are worth more than this, this type of relationship will end up in tears and regrets.
I would suggest that you talk to him to find out if he has in fact moved on. You need to be true to yourself even if this is difficult and heartbreaking. A one sided relationship is only a tragic relationship because it is only one sided, despite what you may think love must flow both ways in order for it to be fulfilling and rewarding.
You have said that you have caught him cheating. This will leave an element of distrust that you must overcome as you must learn to trust him again if you are reunited. But remember if he is still cheating you could also be running a health risk.
If you do decide to brake up, time will heal, you will get over him after many boxes of tissue and lonely nights. But you will be ok in the end. You can move on and find another person to love and importantly; love you back and treat you well.
All the best be True to yourself
Mr S
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