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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been married for 11 years.After my second child was born my husband never showed me any affection. We have not had sex, not even a cuddle in 8 years of our marriage.Both of his parents died of cancer within 4 weeks of eachother at the beginning of this year and i shared his grief. He started to change in March, showing the signs of an affair, the only person that he grew close to during his parents death was his 21 year old niece. I tried not to believe what was happening because is was such a sick thought so i downloaded a software to read all his and her text msg. It was true that they were having an affair.I threw him out and exposed them both to the family with all the evidence to prove i was not mad. We are on speaking terms now and he just addmitted to me that he thinks he is impotent. That would explain the last 8 years but i cant understand how a man can get a hard on for a family member but not his wife.I know he never had sex with her but he was very close with a hard on but just never used it. I love him so very much and now we maybe can rebuild a real marriage with all the things i have missed with help of couse but does he deserve me? I have spend years thinking i was worthless and has made me so insecue. How am i ever going to forgive him ? His niece! Do i try to make this work? We are living seperatly at the moment.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2006): Hello,
When it comes to building a solid foundation the most crucial thing to develop is trust if you are involved in a relationship that lacks trust that you can rest assured the following steps will not be anything short of disappointing.
Now this is different situation he had an affair yes but with a family member and that is beyond just cheating that is twisted and shows a sign of lacking in other aspects of his life as well as yours. What you need to do is end the relationships if that is what you think is best or is in your best interest.
I know that you have invested a lot of time but to think he would find comfort else where while robbing you of your time, devotion and affection shows that he does not appreciate you but have no doubt this will be hard but in life you need to look out for number one and that is you.
I can help you re-build confidence and self-esteem through my program offered at manenoughpros.com but lets take a look into the other possible outcomes you can stay involved with this man and continue to be a victim or you can end the relationship and move on in life and gain the ability to experience the many wonderful things, I am not going to tell you to end this relationship because this isn’t about me it is about you.
But you deserve to be happy and lying is a sign of disrespect.
Man Enough Pros can help you with your situation, I can and will continue to stick by you and help you move on and give you advice and tips on what you can do to give you the best chance.
Now I suggest you get him to seem a counselor and I will continue to work with you.
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