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female
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*o young
writes: i am nearly 18 and hav been with my boyfriend 3 months. We have the best relationship and love eachother dearly. The only problem is hes muslim and im catholic. The whole thing is a secret and both our families would kill us if they found out. Is their any point to the relationship?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2007): im 18 and christian hes muslim ive met hes parants they love me my parants dont mind him but hes parants want him to marry hes kind of girl because hes brothers and sisters have all married english people so heim as the only boy left has to make the change personally i think you should end it before you grow fond of him ive been with him 1 year but i dont think it makes much sense x
A
female
reader, LiLKiss +, writes (8 September 2006):
 as matter of fact i know married couple that works with me and she is muslim and he is christian.because i was wondering how is to be married with guy different religion i ask them. they have told me that their families get along. they both belive in their religion and they practice.. they celebrate christmas at his preents house and ramadan at her house and they said they never had conflict about it. they have 2 wonderful boys 3yr and 1 yr. they are baptised and i ask them how they going to teach them about religion and they said they will introduce both religions and whatever boys decide. they going to send them in church and to to muslim church as well. They told me that they are happy and thats what matters the happiness and they say that is very imporatnt to belive in something then nothing. i hope that this helped a lil bit in anyway. but you just started relationship so dont stress about that so much.I know that is hard to tell perents because they might not understand but first wait and if it going in good direction then you need to sit and tell them what is going on.. they will understand but after all your happiness is most important.. well i wish you the best... caz i know how you feel because im in the same situation. good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2006): You have a lot going against you. I would say the worst is probably your age, you're still so young. Such young people don't stay together in the best of situations.
I'm not saying don't give it ago. If you both feel strongly for each other then do it - but know when to call it a day if there are problems.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2006): Is there any point to your relationship? I'm tempted to say "No." I know you enjoy one another's company for the brief time you've been together.......
BUT if you continue, things could get VERY DIFFICULT. For one thing, both your families are likely to be very upset. For another, you are not in a good place if you feel you have to keep things secret.
What Bonym writes, and the Asian writer, are spot-on! He is not likely to convert to becoming a Catholic, and his family - maybe him too, may very well put great pressure on you to convert to Islam.
MAKE NO MISTAKE: you would be marrying into a whole culture and family whose ways are VERY different to what you are used to. As the lady from Asia says, the expectation from his family is likely to be that you put their feelings first, regardless of your own happiness.
You are only 18 and you need to give serious consideration as to whether it wouldn't be better to end your relationship now, while its still in the early stages. Three months is not long to get to know someone, and the likelihood is that YOU will have to give up a LOT more than he will!
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A
male
reader, shandy +, writes (3 September 2006):
Yes your faiths may cause problems but this is a issue you both need to discuss in order to move forward and understand what you both want from the relationship. If you are both open and honest your relationship will develop and confronting your families won't be so much of a issue. It will be hard but they will accept things.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2006): well you may have problems with your different faiths but at the end of the day it is what you both want and as you are in he early stages of your relationship I would suggest that you should talk about these issues so you both know where you stand in the relationship. I don't think you families would kill you but they may not be happy but they will accept things eventually. Good Luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2006): hi, im in the same situation im muslim and hes christian but we love each other. you see wen we fall in love we dont se these differences because truthfully we dont notice wat religion someone is,u love them for who they are..u meet and get on and before u know it ur seriously in love. but u cant just give that up! u know a beautifull relationship lies ahead of u.
does it matter wat religion u are? if u are really serious about each other talk things over.
theres only one god at the end of the day.. faith should never be a barrier.its narrow minded people that stop u from getting together.
if ur love is real and strong then u wil not backdown..if he truely loves u then he should also be willing to make sacrifices if he has to.eg move AWAY from family and start ur life together.u can still practice ur faiths.but if matters can be put right if one of u converts its up to u then.
if u think about its god who puts these feelings in ur heart, its no a crime or sin to love someone, love sees no differences. i wish u both lots of luck. be happy go with ur heart.
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (3 September 2006):
 Well my dear it would be absurd for me to say to you forget the whole thing but what you must realise is that it is maybe unlikely he would convert to being a Catholic but perhaps you would or its more than likely you will convert to Islam. It depends on how strong your faith is my dear, take me for example, I have no problem with other religions even though some are so ignorant as to think otherwise but realistically I could not date or marry someone of another faith because our views will conflict. I dont want to change faith and I certainly dont expect people to convert to something they are not happy in. They may be a lovely decent person, but the bottom line is, if our faiths are the total opposite there are bound to be problems. Sweetie, you need to decide which means more to you, this relationship or your religion because my dear reallty it looks like one or the other. Take care. xXx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2006): For me having a secret relationship means that you can't be spontaneous, you can't be a part of his life properly or him yours, his family committments always come first, it involves lying sorry to be so negative!! Being an asian myself you're always expected to put your families feelings first and not think about what makes you happy but what makes them happy even though it's hurting you. If you intend to have a committed relationship then you would need to tell both your families but they may put a stop to it but it may be worse if they found out accidentally. Having a secret relationship only hurts more as you can't always be with each other. You're still very young, but if he's the one then you need be tell both your families because if you still together for one or more years down the line and then decide to tell your families it could end up hurting more if the outcome is not what you want. Good Luck, Hope it works out.
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