A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this gorgeous, funny and overall sweet guy and I'm so happy! But the first time we tried to be intimate, he couldn't stay hard. We attributed it to beer he had at dinner and though he was embarrassed, I told him I did not mind (I really didn't) and we had a grear time regardless. Yesterday, we were supposed to go out but we kissed, made out and we both agreed to go home lol. But again, same issue-he couldn't maintain the erection. We still managed somehow and he even came but I'm very confused. I'm thinking things like: "is it me?" "I should work out" and all sorts of stuff. He's twenty-six and seems to be in good health. He seems attracted to me but I just don't know what to think. I haven't cared for sex in a long time, but this guy actually makes me want that connection. I don't want to invade his privacy and embarrass him by asking if he's always like that. What do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2015): Yes, it's possible its performance anxiety, but there is definitely another possibility that you should consider.
An increasingly widespread problem in younger men is porn-induced ED. Thats right - many young men who have grown up using high speed internet porn are having this problem. Ive had it myself due to a porn addiction Ive had for 10+ years. The good news is, it can be overcome.
It's unpleasant to think that this might be the cause, but you really should consider it. Google' Porn induced erectile dysfunction' and you will find lots of information.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 August 2015):
 It could be performance anxiety and not knowing where you stand. If you know he's always like that does it mean you don't want to be his girlfriend? At the beginning stages when everything is sweet, you may look past it but when it comes to long term, it's going to bother you. But I still say it's only two times, you can't say he keeps on suffering from ED. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Some people need a period of emotional connection before feeling comfortable with sex. That's for men too. The first two times were not auditions although it might feel like that for him. How men get erect, how long they stay erect, and what they need to be erect is different for everyone. There is no standard that a man has to stay erect at any given situation. For men, a little bit of anxiety is a sign that he's serious about you and does a lot of thinking about the relationship.
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