A
female
age
26-29,
*egIrvine
writes:Hello,I'm 17 years old and iv met a guy and we have been seeing each other for about a month and we really like each other. However, I told him I was 18 as we met in a bar that I got into. He's 24. I want to tell him that I'm actually 17, but scared he might get upset and never speak to me again..What shall I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2013): Dont jump the gun. You have only known him one month, so you don't have much to lose. You only see this as a lost opportunity since you are still very young so have not had many opportunities yet!
Remember, he is just some guy you met in a bar, so there is nothing to lose. Just tell him the truth -- he was your age once, so I'm positive he will understand.
You are scared of losing him after only one month though...it is a very short amount of time and he is still trying to show his good face. I dated a 25 year old when I was 18, but now that I am 22 I think it should have been a sign of his immaturity. For this reason, if the guy you are seeing seems a little upset with you for lying, that is actually a GOOD sign. So please first see how he reacts before worrying ^^
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2013): You're old enough to be in a relationship with him (in eyes of UK law) but be honest with him. He may feel its too young and if he does that's fair enough. It's not a massive age gap but you may be a different places in life, at 24 some people are ready to settle down after enjoying themselves since they turned 18!
He may not mind at all and just laugh it off, you were in a bar and couldn't exactly start shouting out your not actually old enough to be in there!
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A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (30 January 2013):
How do you tell him the truth that you're really 17?
You look at him and say - "I need to be honest with you. Im really 17."
That would probably work.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 January 2013):
 I do not know how it works there with your age of consent but here even if a girl is above the age of consent but below 18 it's still illegal if the guy is over 18 (or vice versa)
You lied. NEVER a good start to a relationship.
You must just come clean and tell him the truth.
Hopefully you are closer to 18 than 16 (although when I was 16 I was easily passing for 18 in bars)
Just suck it up and say "hey I have to tell you something that might upset you"
be prepared for him to say you have to wait till you are 18 to date. That would be the wisest thing for him to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2013): As for the sex offender thing, I'm sure you know that the age of consent here in the UK is 16 so you don't have any worries there. In terms of the age, just tell him the truth. Explain that you said you were 18 because you were in a bar and that was your 'official age' that night, then you started to like him and were scared you would lose him if you told him the truth. As far as lies go its not really that bad, but I'd tell him earlier before it becomes a big deal.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (30 January 2013):
 Well dont lie in the first place. If some woman wants a guy who weighs 240 and not 260 thats her loss not mine. Point: Dont worry what others think even if its age. U could be mature n a good match for the person. Be honest. Thats key to a lot of things.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (30 January 2013):
He might get upset and that's his right since if you guys have had sex he is legally a sex offender (at least here in the US).
Faced with that and I wouldn't blame him for being upset and never talking to you again.
Either way you have an obligation to tell him regardless of the consequences.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (30 January 2013):
 Just tell him, "I have something to tell you... I'm 18 in XXXXXX... I'm really sorry I didn't mean to lie but I really like you and thought you'd just think I'm a stupid girl if I said I was 17".
If it bothers him he'll leave. If it doesn't he'll stay put. Best tell him before you get busted going out when you get asked for ID.
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