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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:im going out with a 20 year old and im 15. we both like each other a lot. my parents found out and wont let me go out anywhere or talk to anyone. what do i do? me and him have been talkin for a year. been together 6 months ago and broke up because of the age difference and recently got back together. what should i do? break up with him? or stay with him and wait until my parents cool down? (which wont be any time soon)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): First of all i have to admit im a little shocked by the close-mindedness of some of the previous "advice-givers" - admittedly it sounds like a bad age gap but each situation has to be treated as an individual case; not all 20 year olds are concerned with sex only and not all 15 year olds are immature and incapable of understanding/feeling love.I started a relationship with my wonderful boyfriend when I was 16 and he was 20 and have had absolutely none of the typical problems people would expect of this kind of relationship; he was patient and understanding when it came to sexual matters i was uncertain of and we barely ever notice there is an age gap at all; the only downside has been sustaining a semi-long distance connection, as he is away during university term times. So it is possible to make it work, just make sure he is the sort of man who is going to be respectful of you and the age difference :)As for the difficulty with your parents, i fortunately didnt have to deal with that as they were reasonably supportive - the best i can suggest is making sure your boyfriend spends time with the family, so that they can see what kind of a person he really is (rather than relying on their preconceptions, which are likely to centre around the belief that that 20 year old man only wants their daughter for one thing!), and over time trust that the situation will get better. Good luck with whatever you decide; do some careful thinking before acting to make sure you are ready for and comfortable with the decision you make. :) xx
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female
reader, Shaunaaa'  +, writes (12 August 2009):
thats underage but not a big age gap, if you love each other you would wait a year or so. If you dont break the law buy having underage sex then dont do it but if your parents think its wrong, its your life so live it,, your not an adult yet so ur still inder the charge of a guardian. Do what you thinks best after all its your life but truely its a tiny bit wrong
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009): I think your parents are out of line im 16 and im dating a 19 year old, just wait until your 16 to do anything with him so he wont get in a lot of troble! I meet my guy when I was 14 but we didnt go out until I was 15 and I waited we have been going out for like 8 months were sirouse just make sure this is the person you want to do all the sex and the things you can do when your 16 because at his age sex is a part of there relationships! I hope you know that, and see my guys sweat and a total geek. If your guys a bad ass jerk he will leave you as sone as he gets what he wants so just make sure he is nice and wont make you fuck him just for his advantadge.
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male
reader, Ask me anything. +, writes (9 August 2009):
The first thing i want to mention is you are your own person, even though you are only 15 years old, you seem to know what you want, but in your youth, have you learnt that there are consequences for ALL you actions?You run the risk of driving a massive gap between yourself and your family, Does thi sguy LOVE you? do you feel it? and without talking down to you, do you know what love is? because i didnt at you age, i think that its very easy to get carried away with love and lust and fancying everyone, its what we all do as kids, but there is a very serious side to it, how much do you know about this guy? i mean really know? does he have a job, is he a respected member of society, or has he been in prison, or been in trouble for commiting crime? I was never that close to my parents as i grew up, but one thing i respected was their opinion, even if i never took it on, dont forget, they are a lot older than you, and have learnt a lot over the years, sometimes they will want to spoil you fun, and sometimes they can be strict, but when you are older, you will realise that they do that out of love, they love you, thats genuine love, which is why they are so concerned, i would be if you were my daughter.A very important part of my answer, is the age difference, i hope you have done nothing more than talk for now, regardledd of what you decide to do, it is worth remembering the law, you are under 16, which means you are not able to consent to any kind of sexual activity, even if you want to. If anything happens between you two, he committs a very serious offence, for which he could face life imprisonment, and to sign on the sex offenders register for life, which will restrich him and label him for the rest of his life, like i said think of the consequences!!!!!Is he really worth all that??Concentrate on being a kid, doing the fun things that kids do, get a good social life going, and make an effort with your education, once you become an adult, i think i can speak for everyone when i say you will want your youth back, your too young for love and serious relationships, and giving everything up over one guy, You have the rest of your life for thathave fun and look after yourself, dont put yourself in vulnerable positions, and always ask advice if your not sure, theres always someone out there to help.Good Luck.
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female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (7 August 2009):
 I would definitely break up with him. I mean isn't it against the law for you two to be together in the first place? Sorry, but any twenty year old guy who involves himself with a fifteen year old girl isn't looking out for the girl's best interest. He is taking advantage of you pretty hard core. Which definitely isn't love at all.
Your parents are against it for a reason and that is because they really do love you and are looking out for your best interest, just like this guy should be doing. What if you get pregnant? What if he really hurts you by leaving? The worries and potential heartbreak shouldn't really be dealt with by a fifteen year old, so start showing a little maturity and break things off. I promise you won't regret it in the end.
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