A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm really unsure about this guy i'm dating. We've been talking for 1 month, only met once (he isn't local to me) but he seems good for me - personality wise and there's an attraction there. The attraction isn't fireworks in my tummy attraction (which I have had with previous boyfriends) and that was a worry for me at first. However my friends think i'd be silly to not meet him again as everything else is good.Anyway.... When we met we talked about previous relationships and he admitted that he had never really been in one. He said that he was on and off with a girl for half of a year but it was never official. Should this be a concern? A friend of mine said no - as ex's mean baggage and him not having any is a bonus.He doesn't come across as a player or someone scared of commitment - this was evident when he asked me if we were exclusive! (I told him I was still on the lookout so we're not). I guess I find it odd as I am 27 and have had 5 long term relationships. He is 29 and has had none.Is it a red flag?? Is he after something??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (7 April 2012):
 It is much more common than people think.
Women tend to be on the receiving end of sexual attention, while men are on the projecting end. It is easier for a woman to date more than men, because as long as she is willing to date among the men that approach her, she can date. A man must pursue, and if he has any negative experiences that deter him, or if he is just very very shy, he could end up an adult male virgin very easily. The irony is that the older he gets, the more women refuse to give him a chance because of his inexperience.
Give him a chance. Date him.
I wrote a book about adult male virgins and give seminars to them as well. You can listen to previews and free interviews I have done in the media for this at:
http://www.franktalks.com/the-adult-male-virgin-program/
-Frank
A
female
reader, lostv  +, writes (7 April 2012):
I recently have broken up with my boyfriend of two years . i was his first girlfriend ever and i mean ever. he wants to have experience with others cause he not the kind of guy thats just wants one girlfriend his whole life so he doesnt regret. dont end up like me and short changed . make sure he doesnt have that intention, if u get serious he woluldnt end up breaking up and want to try others . Its extremly heartbreaking
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (7 April 2012):
 Do you get a creep vibe? Do you have a hunch that he may be disturbed? If yes, then yes, it would be a red flag. Does he suck at talking to women, i.e. he has no game? If he has no game, or no personality, then yes, it wouldn't be a surprise that he didn't have a long-term girlfriend.
My cousin didn't date anyone until he was 32. Then again, he was a huge video game geek with no social life and no desire to meet people. Then he met a girl, fell in love and married.
"I told him I was still on the lookout so we're not"
You're unsure of him, you're still on the lookout - I mean why are you even dating this man? It doesn't sounds like you're even interested in him. Are you sure you're not just stringing him along because you're bored or like the attention?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): Definitely give him a chance. Meet him again and see how you go. He could just be a good guy and just didn't meet the right girls at the right time. As for fireworks - sometimes something deeper builds from shared time and getting to know each other slowly. So, in short, see him again and just take life as it comes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): Wouldn't worry. He might be a one-woman man and you might be the one. :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): He aint local and you met once? Dating site was it? The whole scenario should be a concern, not just him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 April 2012):
 I don't see I as a red flag, unless he is a guy who prefers one-night stands over a relationship.
Just go slow. Listen to your gut.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (6 April 2012):
 My fiance didn't date a girl till he was 26. He was shy and in medical school studying to be a doctor. I don't think that made him weird, he was just very busy and again, there are shy guys out there that don't just jump from one relationship to the next! It turns out the girl he dated was the ONLY girl he dated because he married her after dating 3 years. After they divorced, 4 years later he met me. He is now almost 45 and has only dated 2 women in his life..his ex wife and me. I happen to find it quite refreshing to be honest. It means he hasn't been around. I like it that way. Give the guy a chance....he might be a diamond among rhinestones. Who knows?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 April 2012):
 I would meet him again and see how it goes... remember that fireworks crash and burn but long slow fires with embers that look cold often burn the hottest...
as for the never having a relationship, give him a chance...
my fiance is 38 and has had a total of ONE serious relationsihp before me.... and even that did not last a long time... he just might not have met the right girl...
just take it slow.
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