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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I dont know if this guy likes me or not. we have a 19 year age gap. i am 26 and he is 45. My name is Beth and he calls me Bethy. His name is Malc, and i call him Malcy. I guess it would seem like we are flirting with each other when we call each other those nicnames, do you think so ?. He also tells me a lot about what he has been up to, and sends me links to photos that he has taken of places he has been to.I'll tell you about what has happened recently .I asked him how he was in a conversation recently and he said he was clean and naked as he had just got out of the bath ! . do you think he was trying to flirt with me there too ? i wouldnt think that that would be the kind of thing that a man would say to a friend ?. I replied by saying thanks for the info lol did you enjoy your bath, and he said he did. in the past he has said that he wants me to be " naughty " with him, although, he hasnt said that for a long time. We also havent met up for a long time, but when we did, he winked at me alot, put his arm around me, linked his arm in mine when we were walking somewhere, and once, we were sat next to each other, and before he stood up to walk past me, he stroked my leg, and as he walked past me, he held my hand. he also bought me a drink.he told his friends that he thought he was too old for me and said why would i want to be with him when i could be with a guy my own age, and they told him that i did like him, as he didnt know then. that was when we went out drinking together as a group, which we did a few times. he even came out for my birthday once too. i only ever went to his house once, so we were alone, and he brought some music for us to listen to, and it was the kind of music that i like. nothing happened though, we didnt kiss or do anything else. He also put a video on his facebook page once, which was clips of music that i like, and put " for Beth " when he posted it, so everyone on his friends list will have seen that.i've liked him for quite a while but nothing has come of it yet. maybe he only wants sex, but to be honest, i wouldnt mind even if he did !. i dont know if its too late for me to tell him that i'm still interested in him, and i'm too scared to ask if he likes me. he might have done before, but i dont know if he still does. when i first met him, he had just got out of a long term relationship, and he said that he would be with me some day, probably meaning when he had gotten over his ex. It has been ages now since they broke up, so i wish something could happen between us. He is still single at the minute. What should i do ?.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): also, once, i deleted him from my friends list on facebook as i was upset, and i know he hasnt noticed that yet, as he asked me if i had seen his new photos on there. i feel like adding him back on, but then he would know i deleted him once, and he might wonder why. do you think i should re-add him ?.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): When he stroked my leg that time, we were out in a group. He also had his arm around my shoulder and was stroking my hair that night. I missed that out of my first post, and his friends who knew he liked me told me to go and dance with another lad who was out with us, to see how he would react, and when i went back over to them, they told me that he had kept staring at me as i was dancing wit hthe other guy. To be honest, when i met up with him those other times, it seemed like we were both too shy to tell each other tha twe wanted to be with each other. I should also mention that, soon after i went to his house, with was alst time i saw him, h got back together with his ex, and he apologised to me and said i shouldnt wait around for him. I was really hurt then. That was a long time ago now though, and they broke up again. All the times i saw him last time, he still hadn't gotten over her, but he liked me as well. Now though, it seems like he has got over her, and as i said, he did say that he would like to be with me some day, so i wish he would give it a chance now.
I'm not sure how to mention it to him without scaring him off. Also, me and his niece are pretty friendly, She's only a few years younger than me. We've only spoke online though, not in person. He told her to accept my friend request on facebook and she did. all three of us like gothic stuff, and me and his niece were saying how we both like this town that is quite gothic, and i know that he likes that kind of stuff too. i wish i could suggest that we all go there sometime, even though it's not very close to where we live. i know that all three of us like travelling to different places. then again, it would probably be better if i met her in our home town first since we havent met yet . she lives near me somewhere. i also wonder how she would feel if anything happened between me and him , since i'm not much older than her and he is her uncle, and i also wonder if she knows how he feels about me.
i'm not sure whether to ask him out in a group again first, or on our own . i just want to make him feel comfortable meeting me again.
and i'm wondering whether to add his friends on to msn too, the ones who knew that he liked me, as we got on really well when we went out, and i'd even like to see them again. but, i'd need to ask him for their msn adds.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 July 2010):
 Make your move-nothing ventured nothing gained. He is clearly flirting and he shows he likes you , but probably did not feel like being more practive exactly because he thought his age would be a problem for you. ( and btw- it's normal he wonders why would you be with him when you could be with someone your age, honestly that 's what 95percent of people would wonder) Anyway, if you are cool with his age then fine and dandy, just ask him out, chances are he still is interested, but even if he were not, what's the big deal, you win some, you loose some,no biggie.
As for his intentions,if he wants just sex or a relationship, well, you are in much better position than us Aunts to find that out- but since you'd be ok even with just sex, it sounds like a win win situation.
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A
female
reader, Aunt_Rita  +, writes (11 July 2010):
My dear,
In love there is no age - age is a state of mind, a number and a person is only as old as they feel. That is an upbeat and optimistic approach to healthy thoughts
The most important factor to understand is that although our bodies will show our age to a certain degree, age is most significant when it relates to maturity. Whether you find yourself to be the younger or the older person in a relationship, take into account whether your maturity levels match, you two sync and there is chemistry
Nothing else matter
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A
female
reader, SweetSS21  +, writes (11 July 2010):
This guy definetly sounds like he likes you, and if you like him back then the age does not matter as you are both adults. I think you should slowly start flirting with him and see how he responds, if his response is good then you should ask him about his feelings for you, i dont think he will mind as hes giving you allllll the right GO signs and his probably waiting for you to give him signs back maybe thats why he stopped because he thinks that you might not be interested. JUST GO FOR IT, dont waste anymore time. good luck xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): forget him it will end in tears
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