A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've met this man 18 years my senior while I was divorcing my husband of 22 years. He is supportive and attentive. He makes me feel loved and wanted. I was a bit worry about the age gap. He said it would be nice I could look after him when he gets older. It makes me think if he really love me or want a nursemaid. Please advise. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 March 2008):
 Dearkelja does it again! Excellent advice!
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (22 March 2008):
 There are no guarantees in live. What if you got really sick, would he be there for you to take care of you? You could easily find a younger man who also gets sick at a young age and there you are, taking care of someone. The bottom line is that if you love someone enough you wont mind taking care of them. But if you start off a relationship with the intent to take care of someone, that is not a good foundation for a relationship.
If someone told me what he told you, "you could take care of me when I get older" I would be running for the hills because you will never know what he likes you for.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (22 March 2008):
He might love you AND want you to be his nurse. I feel I really couldn't tell what is in his mind.
I do think the age gap is important. I don't know how old you are, but let's say you're 50, and then he's 68. Obviously he needs a nurse more than a woman. Now, let's say you're 41, and he's 59. I believe in being young at heart at any age, but I think that, in this case, you'd still be very green for adventure and excitement, while he wouldn't.
You got a divorce, and now you need love, but I think you also need a meaningful relationship, a little adventure, I would say. I don't think he would give you that. It seems the relationship is very good except for that. Maybe he isn't the person you want? Only you can tell.
Perhaps a man who's more your age could work better. You know, I would suggest a 40-45 year old who already has children. Of course, the problem would be that often 40-45 want 20-25's :-).
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (22 March 2008):
 I don't know him or the situation well enough, but it does sound like he wants to find security for his future in securing someone who will care for him. If he's approaching his 80's, that's understandable.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (22 March 2008):
 Do you really want to be his nursemaid or a partner?
What a stupid and presumptious thing to say, if you think he may want you as his nurse then I will run very quickly in the opposite direction.
Find yourself a guy nearer your age or he may want to take you to a tea dance next.
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