A
male
age
36-40,
*ristenJ
writes:I have been dating a girl Lauren for a few months now. Her parents HATE me, there is nothing they liek about me at all. SHe comes from a well to do upper class family. Lets just I don't. They have coem rigth out and told em to stay away form her and that I will ruin her life if I don't. They hate the fact that I am 25 yrs old and that she is only 19. They hate that I have a past criminal record and that I have been in jail, they don't liek the fact that I am a mechanic and have told her that I would never be able to support her. We just found out she is pregnant and that is killing them, they are pressuring her to have an abortion even though she has old them she wants to keep the baby. They have been fighting with her non stop and presuring ehr daily about this. I want to help her but I feel liek I am up against a brick wall with this family. Talking to them is pointless, they hate me and everything I have to say. I told her she could move in with me but she thinks that it is to soon. (we have only been dating 2 1/2 months)What can I do to show her parents I do care about her and this baby and that I am not the bad guy that they think I am.
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (17 August 2010):
 You could have started by not knocking their daughter up after only 2 and 1/2 months in a relationship with her. Since that ship has sailed, the only thing you can do is be supportive of her and your baby. You have to show them with your actions that you diserve to be with their daughter. Many parents will never truely accept the person that their children choose to be with. Nobody is good enough in their eyes. That's natural, but I'm also questioning her motives in your relationship. Quite frankly, it sounds to me like she hooked up with you to rebel against them, and will likely not hang around long. She'll go back to her parents, because that's what people in her situation do 9 times out of 10.
Be supportive of her and your baby. That's all you can do. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): suppose knocking up their teenage daughter within 3 months of dating hasn't done you any favours. They didn't get chance to know you for you, so even if they hated you to begin with ... you may have won them over in time with how you treat their daughter. But then pregnancy came and currently i think you have their knee-jerk reaction, all they care for is their daughter and they don't want her to have a hard life - you are in a sense in the way in their eyes so you are gonna get a lot of the blame. Plus you are older like you said - if she was older it wouldn't make much difference but to them she may still be their baby, their child ... they want to protect her i imagine. The only thing i can suggest to bring them around to one day liking you is to give them time and show them by your behaviour how you deserve to be treated. Even if they slag you off and be mean, you be the gentlement - just let it go. Just don't give them any bullets. Treat them, their daughter and the new baby with respect ... ultimutely i think you'll win them around in the end once they get used to you. Its only been 2 and a half months, they need more breathing time/space to mull over it.
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