A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a 22yr old Indian girl for the past 5 months, and things are going extremely well between us. If it were up to us, it looks like we would be going down the marriage route. however, the problem is that her parents are very traditional Indian parents that do not believe in love relationships. she did inform her parents from the start that she was dating me, a half sindhi boy, whose father used to previously work for her parents. Her parents only comment at the time was that " you realize his father used to work for us". they did not try to prevent us from being together, but definitely expressed their concern about dating, and if people were to find out, then their family name would be ruined??? The advice my friends gave me was that her family will consider you as being a lower caste to them,[ even though I live in a bigger house:)], expect a large battle to try and win over their approval, if ever? It is only after 5 months of dating and being completely transparent with her family about our relationship that her mother has ratcheted up her offence to try and force her daughter to break up with me. It seems that her Aunties are now trying to add their opinion about her dating, and is the reason for her mother’s increased offence. My question is what do I do?(1) Do I continue to date this girl because she does not want to surrender to the parents’ wishes, and just deal with the parent’s aftermath as it comes?(2) Do I break off the relationship, due to the fact that if I get married to her, I will have her parents looking down on me for an eternity, but then I will spend a lifetime thinking what if?(3) Do I let her solely handle the issue with her parents, but reluctantly see the drama that she has to go through with her parents, because of me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (1 July 2009):
being indian myself i understand the pressures on families on us, but ultimately i believe we shouldnt "cave in" and "surrender" to old systems, because thats what they are OLD & seriously out of date.
caste systems? please, we are all equal in the modern society. and we are all equal in front of god, (its our deeds wat makes us better than others)
if you really see her as your future partner and truly love her i'd advise you to stick with her and do (3)
if u dont really love her & want to please families then do (2)
remember nothing great is achieved without sacrifice.
good luck
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