A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:After recently breaking up with my girlfriend due to paranoia issues and depression problems on her behalf, we agreed last Friday to meet up and clear the air. We met in an neutral place and she turned up wearing the shortest skirt I've ever seen and just genuinely looking sexy. After we'd sorted everything out between us, she asked if I fancied sex, to which I obviously said yes. We booked a hotel room in the local town and got a room straight away as it was off peak season. We were initially planning on having one last dirty night together before we parted ways, so the sex was great and stupidly regular considering we only had one night. However, after the first session, we both found out that we had strong feelings for each other and agreed to get back together. The dirty night turned into a dirty weekend and whilst we talked things through about how to make the relationship, we also had copious amounts of sex. My concern is that we jumped the gun too quickly and only got back together due to the feelings that sex gives you. I love her so much, and I want her back, but I just don't know if she truly feels the same way. We are carrying on like a normal couple most of the time but her longing for sex is a lot greater than it ever used to be. Am I just a means to an end, is she playing me along? Or is this relationship going fine?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 March 2011):
 Im sorry to be negative, but here's my personal experience. I once had a boyfriend who I got along with like a house on fire. The sex was amazing, some of the best I've ever had. We broke up for reasons like insecurity and him not knowing what he wanted and the regular stuff. But decided we wanted to try and be friends. He's the first and only ex I've ever attempted that with. So we were friendly for a while. Then the sexual attraction just became too much. First it was one odd night here and there, with promises that THIS would be the last time. Then next time would be the last time.. and so on. After trying to be "just friends" for 6 months, having amazing sex while doing so, I tried to attempt dating other guys. My ex became jealous and started talking about wanting to get back with me. After showing up hot and sexy, and with the sexual attraction we had between us, it was VERY hard to resist him. And VERY hard to even begin to like another guy. So I ditched the guy I was dating at the time and decided to try it on again with my ex.
We had great sex as usual. Oh boy did we get along in the bedroom. But the rest of the relationship was.. dull. Or absent. When we tried to do other things than sex I found myself annoyed with him, we fought a lot over silly things, and we didn't really have a good time together. We just had great sex.
It didn't take more than a month or so before we just drifted apart. I don't even think we had a formal chat about breaking up again, we just drifted apart, both of us had learned that sex alone is not enough to save a relationship.
So that is what I base my advise on. Getting back together just because you had good sex again and stirred up the old emotions = bad idea and it wont work. You can try, but it's a dead end. Better to make a clean cut breakup and don't contact her again for a while, or else you'll end up in the loop of sex-buddies like me and my ex ended up in.
A
female
reader, lija30  +, writes (19 March 2011):
 Due to your girlfriends depression and paranoia issues....and now they just seem to disappear? well i think either she is on some new medication or she really wants it to work out. But don't just jump right back in it. She could be sexual with you only because she is cheating in the first place. Usually when someone comes back in the relationship sex charged then they have been with someone else.
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A
female
reader, lija30 +, writes (19 March 2011):
Due to your girlfriends depression and paranoia issues....and now they just seem to disappear? well i think either she is on some new medication or she really wants it to work out. But don't just jump right back in it. She could be sexual with you only because she is cheating in the first place. Usually when someone comes back in the relationship sex charged then they have been with someone else.
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A
male
reader, Tober +, writes (19 March 2011):
 i've got to be honest with you mate, you're getting played like a bass clarinet. chicks know that if they send the " let's do it " vibe, we'll sure as hell take em up on it. we as a species know, you did the right thing accepting. however homeboy, you just forgot to do the smart thing. you already kicked her to the curb for, as far as i can assertain, being a total freakin psychopath! i say, cut your losses mate. sex is good, even better when it's great. just think how it'll be when she pops up on the next installment of, "birds gone bloody mental."
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