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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My fiance's dad just recently die before our wedding. When I got home she crying her eyes out. After I calm her down she say she to hold off the wedding for a bit. I dont its a great idea cause if we do have to wait another a year to got merried. Its now causing fights because she thinks Im not supporting her enough. What should I do?
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male
reader, saltwater  +, writes (31 August 2008):
 Well, it doesn't matter if you don't have two pennies to rub together or you're a multi-millionaire -- the death of a parent is never easy to deal with.
You cannot compare money to the death of a parent -- I would rather lose all my money than lose my mum.
You have to postpone the wedding.
cupidguy is right in what he said before; yes it will cost money, but she deserves it.
Just give her plenty of time and comfort her!!
To be frank, I cannot understand why you are arguing with her at this time; while small arguments are to be expected when someone is grieving; kicking you out of the house is a very extreme action in my opinion and to me it says you are clearly doing something very wrong.
You need to be supporting her...not tying her grieving to money.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf we do postpone the wedding it will cost a lot of money. we got in another fight she call a selfish jerk and me kick out of the house. I do feel pretty bad about what I did. help
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): Speaking from experience as I have just lost someone very close, everything from around the time that they died just reminds you of what happened, music, events, smells, conversations places - everything. I'm sure your wedding isn't something she wants to remind her of her father's death. Please give her some time and try to understand how she is feeling, she will be feeling awful at the moment so you just need to let her know that you're there for her. And I'm sure you don't want her standing in front of you on your wedding day crying her eyes out because someone she cared about is missing, because that's probably what she will be thinking - 'What a special day.. I wish my dad were here to see it'. Give her as much time as she needs so as she can dissociate the two things, it would be fair.
Best of luck to you two.
xx Hope xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): omg listen to her, speaking as someone who has lost 4 people in the last 2years its the worst pain ever and nothing can distract you from that pain, do you really want her to look back on her wedding as the day she was so misserable because the man who should be giving her away at her wedding just died, you are being very selfish here , this poor girl just lost her dad let her grieve getting married today,tommorow or next year isn't going to make a difference to your realtionship
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male
reader, saltwater +, writes (28 August 2008):
Everything Tisha says is correct.
My dad died when I was 10, and I still grieve his loss now; some 12 years later.
You need to give her time. If you love her then this should be easy for you to do.
You should be comforting her; not arguing with her.
Take care.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (28 August 2008):
 Your fiancee has just had one of THE most stressful and sad things that can happen in her life right before what was supposed to be a happy occasion. I'm sorry, but I think you must respect her wishes on this. She is devastated, I'm sure, by the loss of her dad. You cannot ignore or push her through grief any faster than she can go. Getting over this isn't a voluntary thing. You don't wake up the day after someone so close to you dies, and say, okay, things are fine now, I'm all better and it won't bother me any more. That is not realistic, and I think you should lay off on the wedding for the time being. Your fiancee doesn't want to have a party so soon after her father's death.
Another thing to keep in mind is that if you do pressure her into this, she will forever associate her father's death with your wedding. So each and everytime she thinks about your wedding, she will also remember that her father died. The two will be linked forever. I don't think you really want that, do you?
Give her support, listen to her talk, hold her if she needs the closeness, let her go through the stages of grief she must negotiote now.
Good luck.
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