A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a great girl for 6 month. We get along quite well and are getting more serious. I am having reservations however. Both her mother and father have been married 3 times a piece, and her brother and sister are both separated from their spouses. I know I shouldn't judge a girl by the sins of their parents, but I am having a tough time with this one. She tells me that she never wants a to be like her parents and that once she gets married, she wants to stay that way for life. But on the flipside, she has been with over a dozen (sex) partners in her 25 years (which is twice the number of partners I have had). I have strong feelings for her, but am I setting myself up for heartbreak???
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think you guys/girls are right....I am dwelling too much on the negatives. I have a tendency to see the glass half empty sometimes. Thanks you for your help.
A
female
reader, LauraE  +, writes (17 July 2007):
12 partners isn’t a massive number. If she started when she was 17 or 18, that’s less than 2 a year. She was hardly trawling the bars and clubs every weekend night was she? It is much easier for girls to attract partners than it is for men. She was actually probably a lot more restrained than you or most men are. So you can put that worry out of your mind. As for her family history – who can say? It might be that she has learned some bad habits, which will be harder to avoid than she thinks. The important thing will be how you 2 deal with problems in your relationship. 6 months is too early to be making a lifetime commitment anyway. Over the next few months or couple of years, you will notice if she is able to deal with problems rationally. You will know if she talks honestly and openly about issues, or whether she bottles them up, or becomes aggressive. You will know if she is willing to compromise, if she is willing to see your point of view. No rush, just wait and see if she is all you think she is.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (17 July 2007):
 Don't judge her on the previous relationships of her parents and her brother and sister. Just because they have all had failed relationships dosen't mean that if you married her it would fail like everyone else's did.
So she has been with a dozen sex parners which is twice the number you have had, don't let this put you off. Each and every one of us has a past, the way you are going to make this realtionship work is to look torwards the future and not delving into the past.
So you have got strong feelings for her, and no doubt she has for you also. So go for it and make this work, focus on the positive things that this realtionship brings and stop dwelling on the negatives.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, lmbound +, writes (17 July 2007):
Chances are she will have a hard time since se has grown up with people just quittting when the times get tough. This relationship will be a struggle for you. People are a product of thier enviroment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007): Pray and fast over the matter if actually you are serious and God will see you through. More so, tell her your expectations from her morally,spiritually,and otherwise and assess her time to time so as to guide you on your next line of action.Have the convidence that she is yours forever and you will by the special grace of GOd have her forever.
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