A
male
age
,
*stroman
writes:My S.O. and I are monogamous with each other, although she has remained friends (e.g., occasionally chats with) with some of her ex-lovers. I've been accepting of that situation so far... but on Valentine's Day, when we were together, she received an online Valentine's Day card from one of her ex-lovers. It was signed, "Hugs, Tim." Should I be concerned that she got this V.D. card when he supposedly knows that she's monogamous with me?
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male
reader, Astroman +, writes (17 February 2012):
Astroman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everybody. You were very helpful!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): I don't think there's anything wrong with that, seems pretty harmless to me. they were ex lovers, which means they will always have that shared history and nothing you can do about that. but the important thing is that they are not still lovers, that is in the past. this card he sent doesn't change that.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 February 2012):
 I guess you can't blame her for what HE chooses to do. What you can do is suggest that it was weird of him to send her a Valentine's Day card when he's an EX and see how she responds and go from there. It doesn't sound like she was hiding anything if she showed you the card. Some people are able to remain friendly with their exes without it meaning anything more than that.
I'd just keep an eye on the situation and assume she's faithful to you, especially as she showed you the card.
Did you ever discuss your uneasy feelings about this with her? Or perhaps you discussed your views on exes and appropriate contact? If not, maybe it's time.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 February 2012):
 I wouldn't be too concerned... HUGS is a nice neutral greeting... and after all it was V day...
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Don't make a big deal out of this, unless there are signs that she is being unfaithful. All that it will do is bring bad blood into a seemingly good relationship.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Meeh, it's V-day, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Maybe he just wanted to do something nice for her or maybe he just wanted her to think of him.
Either way, not her fault that he sent it. I would not make a big deal out of it.
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