A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so i made a really good friend around four years ago and ever since we got to knw eachother weve become like blood sisters and i respect her to the fullest. Around 2 years ago she met a lovely guy and within the first couple mnths of them being together she had said they had already discussed marriage ( they were in church at the time, y'all know church folk do things quickly/) so anyway over time they had conflicting interests and have kind of grwn apart. I keep in contact with him because he supplys herbal remedies for my stress issues ;] and we have similar interests and outlooks on life, he is JUST MY TYPE! everything about him is so right and now i knw that i have a slight crush on him i dont know how to act around him?! and i cant even tell my friend i usually go to her wen im struggling! i dreamt of him and he just plagues my thoughts what can i do? if i act on my feelings i will lose such a good friend( shes been there for me thrugh thick and thin) and potentially get rejected by him, or even worse? he may like it ... Please help me feeling so confused with keeping all this in, be honest with me!21
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (12 February 2014):
This all depends on whether you’re prepared to take any risk at all with your friendship with this girl. If you’re not, leave things be with the guy. However, the previous poster is correct. If this does blow up in your face then maybe the friendship isn’t as strong as you think anyway. If you’re prepared to possibly find that out, and you think this man is worth the chance, speak to him. Be upfront with your friend, she will be more upset if you keep her in the dark. The reality is that, unless he’s a really unkind person, if he’s not interested he’ll tell you, discretely keep it to himself and that’ll be the end of the matter. If he is, tell your friend as soon as possible. She doesn’t have any claim over him as an ex.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2014): Why do you think you'll lose your friend if you tell her you have a crush on her ex? He is her *ex*, yes? Go speak to the guy and just see what happens. If she gives you the cold shoulder simply for showing interest in a man she's no longer interested in, perhaps she's not so good a girlfriend after all. Anyway, good luck.
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