A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,I had this conversation with some colleagues of mine today and I really need to vent somewhere as I feel a bit upset...I have these 2 female colleagues of the same age as me approximately (around 30) and we usually have very nice and funny conversations. However, there are some times where I really come to despise and dislike them because of their attitude.For example, a new trainee started working at our office since yesterday. The first thing that my 2 colleagues did was to come to my office and make fun of her. "See how she looks?", "neeeerd", etc. I told them it wasn't nice but they kept on giggling.Today, we were talking about something general but the discussion came to the subject of body hair. My colleagues then started telling about stories of other girls they had seen at college that were very hairy and "disgusting". One even claimed that she lost her appetite when she saw some hair on some girl's breasts and they both burst out in laughs. Again, I told her it wasn't nice and that the girl might have some hormonal problem and she might have already been sad with her condition without having others mock her. No sign of empathy from their part...Anyway, my point is that I find these 2 girls quite arrogant. One of them has a huge ego and claims she can get any guy she wants and that she deserves only the best. Whenever we happen to be at the same party, she start criticizing all the guys and calling them creeps. No one is good enough for her.I have been bullied when I was a kid and during my early years of college, so I can somehow sympathize with the girls that were being mocked. Maybe I am overly sensitive but I don't like when someone is being made fun for things that sometimes he/she cannot change. What happened to tolerance? Of course, these colleagues of mine are fine looking, so they will probably never understand what it feels like to be bullied/discriminated against.Life is sometimes so unfair...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2014): As someone else said, welcome to the world of women. It's funny that guys often seem to think that women are somehow 'better' than men, and above being evil -- maybe because men's evil tends to be more noticeable, or because they believe all the stuff feminists say (feminists aren't the most impartial women on the planet ;) ). The truth is that if a person, male or female, wants to do something evil to someone else, then they will play to their strengths -- with men this means that they'll probably use physical force; with women it means they'll use their cunning and guile. The degree of evil is the same in both cases, but the former is more likely to land you in prison! Which is why the prison population is largely male -- their evil is more overt, whereas women's is more covert. You can see it in the playground of a school: the teacher can see the boys trying to pull each other's arms off, and kicking each other in the privates, but seldom do they see what goes on with girls, even though words often leave much deeper wounds than physical violence. Of course one finds catty men and violent women (increasingly so these days), but in general there is a sex distinction when it comes to how each sex sets about trying to do harm to someone they despise. As others have pointed out, the two women you mention are rotten. Forget them.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (5 February 2014):
 Sadly you will find this type of woman wherever you go, fortunately they are in the minority. They're shallow and mean spirited and boost their own confidence by belittling others. Clearly easily threatened by the competition too.
Keep your opinions quiet, avoid these two, there are more decent people in the world than bad. Those are the ones you should seek out.
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (5 February 2014):
 Jealousy and insecurity are two of the most "motors" of mankind, alas. The other ones are the concupiscence and vanity. For the good motors, they are very few as a lot of them are in fact another way to exerce jealousy, insecurity, concupiscence and vanity. It's old as the world, and I don't see it changing soon.
The GOOD: the fact this sort of behaviour hurts your heart means you are on the good side of the line.
The BAD: there are far less people there, so try to not excite against you the mass that's standing on the other side of the thin line.
My ADVICE: try all you can to always preserve that good heart that inhabits you, as this is the most important treasure you will ever possess. Nothing compares to that, as it can't be bought in any way.
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A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (4 February 2014):
 Welcome to the wonderful world of women. Not all women are like this - don't misunderstand that remark of mine. But as a whole, women are much more caddy and shit-talk each other behind backs than men. They will smile to your face and act like you're their bff, then mercilessly trash you as soon as you walk away.
I think the reason for this is some sort of competitiveness. Kinda like how alpha males may feel threatened and puff their chests out when in the presence of other alpha males - this is how women assert dominance in their own way. They get threatened and feel they have to put the other one down in odder to come out on top. Either that, or they see someone they perceive as inferior and have to rub it in everyone's face about how much better they are than them to remind the world of their incredible worth.
The reason I say this is a competitive trait is because I'm a lesbian and I don't dress in a feminine manner, and I make great friends with women because they, in no way, perceive me as a threat. If we go out to a bar, I'm not going to steal the attention of any guy who may come talk to her. I'm literally no threat. So they don't feel the need to shit talk me. Which is awesome for me. I make great friends with men and women alike. I've got the best if both worlds.
Anyway, yes it's caddy and it's awful to talk like that about someone. If you really don't like it, tell them to their face not to make comments like that again in your presence. It may sink in then just how crappy they really are being if you put it to them like that. Either that, or it will make them shit talk you when you leave, which is most likely. But either way, just be proud you're not like that and you choose to see the best in people rather than judge a book by it's cover. One day, your friend who thinks she's gods gift to the universe will get old and her beauty will fade. And all she will have to fall back on is her personality. And, well, we know how that will go over. Lol.
Sorry to hear you're so frustrated. You will always encounter people like this. Let it be a reminder never to be like that.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 February 2014):
 I think women like that deep down are VERY insecure. They know they have a short shelf life and putting OTHER women down makes them feel better about themselves, it's kind of sad.
Don't change who you are. Their comments are PETTY & nasty, and just show what kind of women they are - not the kind you want to BE friends with - co-workers sure, but NOT friends.
And it's pretty immature - makes me think high-school girls who think they live in the movie Means Girls.. Pathetic.
Some people are good, some are not. It's called life.
Take the high road and don't join in the gossip.
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