A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this girl for the past 7 months and we are very happy together. There is a problem though, her exboyfriend will not accept that they are not together any more. She has told him several times to move on but he refuses to do so. He has even tried to put moves on her. He has been told before that the cops will be called if he doesn't leave her alone but it hasn't worked. He has even went as far as telling her that if she don't break up with me and go back to him he will come take care of me himself. To tell you the truth I'm not afraid of him. What can I do to get him out of our lives? She doesn't want to be with him but he will not accept that. He keeps coming around and he does think that he is gods gift to women. He is the biggest moron you'd ever see. Any ideas as to get him out of our lives?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell she has tried to avoid him but if he dont get ahold of her he calls her mom even tho she doesnt live with her mom. and i am getting her a new phone and new number
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): I am not sure that you can get a restraining order against him if she never lived with him, I think it depends on your State laws on that.
It would be best if you could handle this without getting the police involved or the courts as sometimes this just gets ugly. Restraining orders are worth the paper they are printed on, they don't do much to keep unwanted attention away.
The best way to handle it is to change her phone number and email accounts etc, and instruct your friends not to give out the number, and that neither one of you engage him. If he comes over, do not answer the door, that is what locks are for, if he approaches her, she should just walk over to another person and say this creep is bothering me would you walk me to my car or class or ....
The less attention he gets the better, he will give up and go away. Negative attention is still attention and he has some kind of problem where he thinks he owns the girl.
Granted he may be hurt and trying to repair their relationship, but he is making a real ass out of himself isn't he? Don't bite.
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A
female
reader, Miss Nita +, writes (9 December 2009):
He will eventually get the message if your girlfriend stops engaging with him and is consistant about with the message.
He is desperate for any sign of hope so your girl needs to be CRYSTAL CLEAR. This means no contact of any kind, no calls, no smiles, no reluctance, no feeling sorry for him or trying to spare his feelings in any way. She needs to make the break, not you.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (9 December 2009):
 Your girlfriend must never talk to him again. PERIOD. All conversation must be through the cops or a lawyer. Get a restraining order and if he comes around again, call the cops. Neither of you should talk to him - do not engage him in any way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyea it is very stressful. and he has been warned that the police were going to be involved but hasnt done any good.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (9 December 2009):
 Yea I might call the cops on him once to let him know you are serious. But, she is going to have to be ok with all this first. Most of the time what guys need in this situation is ultimate closure. She has got to say or do something really convincing to let him know that it's really really over once and for all.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 December 2009):
Get a lawyer, get a restraining order. There's now no other way to do it. And don't give in to his 'tough guy' talk either.
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