A
male
age
41-50,
*oushik
writes:HiI have been going steady with my girlfirend for last 2 1/2 yrs.We had fought with our parents to be together who were opposed to inter caste marriage.After a long battle everyone has agreed and they r planning to get us married by June.My girl friend while in college had a close friend who happened to have crush on her.He knew what we have gone through and we are going steady.He had got a job in a distant place and while going had said to my girl firend that he had loved her but was unable to tell because of her relationshp with me.My girl friend got weak to some extent after that.After initial fights we were back to normal for next 4- months.last month he had come to his native place and both of them had met and inspite of knowing everything he had said the same things after which my relationship has gone haywire.My girlfirend is even on the verge of breaking this relationship which we had built slowly.She knows that she has done a mistake and says to me that she hasnt done anything purposely.I have forgiven her for that but my relationship is not normal now.I have given her time to think wat she wants in life.She is really in a dilemma and I havent put any pressure on us and have told her that she would be commiting a mistake if she were to love someone out of sympathy.Frustration has crept in me to some extent.I know she loves me but being her close friend there is some sort of infatuation which she hasnt been able to forget.Please let me know what to do.I cannot live with out her and she knows that very well.Looking forward to yours replyWarm RegardsKoushik
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007): I think that you have done everything you can do, the choice is up to her now. Have you tried explaining your feelings about him and the situation to her? At this point, other than making sure that she is clear where you stand, this isn't your decision to make. I know that that probably isn't the answer you were hoping for, but it's the truth. I hope that things turn out well for you.
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