A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is this girl I like, but she has a boyfriend. I'm always there for her when he hurts her and when she is upset with him or he isn't in the picture, my relationship with her is really close... but it seems like at the end of the day it's always him that she's going back to. I really care about her, and I hate seeing him treat her so badly when she cares so much about him... it's like he has no idea what he has and he just doesn't care. Lately it feels like everyday he does something, he cheats on her or calls her a name or yells at her and she just doesn't feel like he loves her, but she loves him. Why?And why does she lead me on so much when they aren't together if she loves him and she is convinced that when he says he still loves her, that he actually does...? I'm not sure if I should talk about this with her, because it could mess up our friendship and I've known her for so long that losing her over something like this would basically ruin my life, but I don't want her to be in that relationship and I really want her to be with me...My mind is all jumbled up lately, she's confusing me so much... Can someone please help me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): You want to be with her? You are already with her right now.
She is getting what she wants from you, respect and emotional support. She is also getting what she wants from him, somoene to fuck and be crazy about. As long as she has both, she has the perfect boyfriend.
This is the most you will ever get from her. Nice guys finish last when the girl wants a bad boy. If you don't like things the way they are then you need to back away and leave the situation.
A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 You've become her safety net. Yes, she's in a destructive relationship but for some crazy reason she loves him. She knows that you'll be there for her whenever she needs you and that's great that you are such a good friend to her but maybe sometimes you need to take a step back to protect yourself. Don't be there everytime this guy isn't around, it's giving you false hope and allowing her to treat you like a doormat. She only comes to you when she's upset with the bf right? Continue being a friend to her but get out there and live your own life, have fun and meet girls who will be interested in you for you and not just a confidence boost.
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