A
male
age
36-40,
*olidus
writes:Me and my ex broke up four months after her dad died. She told me she had severe depression. She also told me she's an alcoholic and used to be a cutter and that the day we split she really felt the old urges to cut herself again. Naturally this concerned me as I still care for her deeply. She said when she felt the urge to cut herself she knew she needed help because she didn't ever wanna go back to that. She was going to participate in this clinical trial for depression that was free, but for a reason I can't remember she wasn't a viable candidate. something about the type of medication used. I thought this trial was a good idea as a condition was that she would have to stop drinking. Well, after she found out it wasn't going to happen she no longer had to stop drinking and went back to it even more. I've even seen her black out she's had so much to drink. She blacked out while we were having sex once and I couldn't wake her. It was kinda scary to say the least. Her best friend is also an alcoholic as I've recent been told she didn't have the greatest family life. Her friends mom actually encourages minors to drink! So, basically my Alcoholic ex and her alcoholic best friend drive all over town going to bars getting drunk and pretending their problems don't exist. Seriously not what I call effective therapy. Our break was not meant to be permanent. Just until she gets better and works things out. So she said. We continued to have sex after we broke up until a few weeks ago when I noticed that she started to give me lame excuses frequently for why she couldn't hang out. I confronted her and she said us having sex made it harder for her. I respected that and promised her we wouldn't anymore. However, she still gives me lame excuses and blows me off. Yet, has no trouble going out with her friends drinking which really doesn't fix her problems.She's also been hanging out with this dude named dave whom she says is just a friend. She says he's a weed head and just smokes with him. Her friends confirmed this, but they could be lying too, who knows? A few weeks ago she went from saying she still loves me and us watching sex and the city, to avoiding me. What the hell is up with that? honestly I just really miss hanging out with my best friend...what do you guys think is her deal?
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alcoholic, best friend, broke up, drunk, my ex, smokes Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Think of a time when she may be home alone and call to her house and tell her you need to talk to her privately that its really important, dont take no for an answer.
A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (27 September 2010):
Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the question I've been trying to hang out with her privately, like at her home so that I can look her in the eye and have a serious heart to heart type of conversation without anyone around, IE a crowded social setting or her friends around, but every time I try to get her alone she gives me an excuse why she can't. "She's tired, can't find a babysitter, etc"
After the millionth time I figured out that she's just avoiding me. I'm not even trying to have sex with her or anything. I just want to talk to her about whats going on.
What should I do to get her to see me?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (26 September 2010):
She needs help badly, she needs to go and see a doctor and ask for help. Before she ends up killing herself. Tell her how worried you are and how much you miss her and hate seeing her destroy her life like this. She needs to go and get help tell her you really want things to go well between use but that she needs to get the help first. She also needs to get away from her best friend because this is only fuelling her problem even worse. I really hope that she can get the help that she needs.
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