A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi Aunts and Uncles!i have known my friend for almost 8 years now and am godmother to her eldest daughter who is 7.Her daughter is very spoilt.My friend is quite soft with her -she tells her off but its not convincing.My godaughter when through a phase taht everytime i went round to their house she always took items from my bag including money,make-up,my mobile etc..The makeup she would use and then put back but she never gave my money back-its only £1 or 50p's.Her mum was there when she does this but says"give it back" to which the child would run off with it!So i have stopped carrying cash when i meet up with them. Now what the child has started doing-not in the presence of her mum or anyone else is telling me to give her money!She will blatantly say "Aunty,give me some money!" to which i reply "no,i dont have any". I havent told my friend as i feel its awkward and dont want to make a big deal of this. Will this phase wear off?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (27 June 2008):
 You could go the route of being disappointed by her behavior. Instead of saying, 'no, I don't have any,' say instead 'that is not a question a well-brought up young lady would ask. I am very disappointed by this demand.' Or, 'sweetie, this is a very rude demand to make. Why are you being rude?' Turn her behavior back at her, in a way.
Another probably silly idea, but, hey, worth thinking about, is to say, 'Funny you should ask for money. I was just about to ask you the same thing! I don't have any money and I need some. Niecey, give me some money!'
Perhaps this will set up a dialogue with her, where you can discuss the appropriate way to ask for something, and that in fact, you should not expect to be given everything you ask for.
But I go back to her being only 7. She is young still.
I would probably find a way to jokingly tell my friend that her daughter always demands money from me, and that I'd not been giving it to her because of the way she was asking. And say something to soften it, like, 'oh, these children today! They don't know what it was like when we were children and could only expect sweets or a painful cheek squeeze from our aunties and uncles.'
As her godmother, you do have some responsibility for her development, so try to get creative about this... I know it's tricky, but worth doing.
A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (27 June 2008):
 She's just used to getting her own way and obviously associates vistors with presents or money. My grandparents used to live away and by the time I was 6 or 7 the first thing I did when they visited was run to the boot of their car to see what present they'd got me. My mum was so embarrassed she asked them to stop bringing presents and I eventually stopped the association between them and toys when they no longer handed toys out as soon as they arrived.
Stick to your guns and keep saying no. Really your friend should be firmer with her so you dont have to go with an empty bag but bringing it up could cause problems between you x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 June 2008):
She's learned that Aunties and relatives giver her pocket money when they come round and if she asks for it then she usually gets it. The fact she's such a cheeky little monster about it down to her mum.
I always used to look forward to going to see my great aunty because she would always give us 2 pounds each when we were small.
The fact that her mother is not disciplining her for being a theif is far more serious. What is she going to do when she gets a call from the police to pick her up after she's been caught shop lifting?
If you don't want to talk to her mum about it then just start making jokes about it and she'll soon get the message. Say things like "ooh, here she is, watch your handbag!" when the little girl walks into the room. Her mum will hopefully be embarressed into action when she sees her friends are getting sick of it.
If you are her godmother then you are supposed to look after her morals as well so don't be afraid to tell her off.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, daniellexxxx +, writes (27 June 2008):
 It's sounds to me like her mum was telling her to ask you for the money i cant see a 7 year old asking you for money everytime you go round strange.
You shouldnt have to stop carrying things around tell the little girl no and take the bag of her she will learn if she keeps getting told over and over again.
Good luck.x
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