Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2007): hun u need to tell ur mum she can help more than anyone else
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007): hay hunnyIf I was you I'd tell your mum because yes she will be angry, but she will be more angry if you dont tell her and if you dont want the baby then she can help you get an abortion.ok bye
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (4 June 2007):
 Hi Batman,
You need to speak with your doctor and family about what decision can/should be made. This is an EXTREMELY PERSONAL decision that should NOT be influenced by people that you do not know.
Please have a talk with your parents (or your boyfriend's mom - whoever is helping you) and ask them/her to discuss this with you and also to schedule another doctor appointment so you can discuss this with your physician.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (3 June 2007):
 It depends on if your body can handle the pregnancy. Ask a doctor.
DV1
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A
female
reader, batman +, writes (3 June 2007):
batman is verified as being by the original poster of the question ok does anyone here think i shud get an abortion or give my child up 4 adoption when its born?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (30 May 2007):
 I just told you....Having some guy looking at you "down there" is the least of your worries at the moment I should think.
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A
female
reader, batman +, writes (29 May 2007):
batman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok eyeswideopen wut is the least of my probloms sence u no everything?
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female
reader, batman +, writes (29 May 2007):
batman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionstina, 4 weeks iz a month and wut i ment to type or say whatever wuz that i found out that me and my bf want a girl and he never told me wut sex he wanted the baby to be but if the baby iz a boy then thats ok too cuz my bf can have someone to go hunting and fishing with when the baby gets older if its a boy. and candy00s u give great advice thanx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 May 2007):
Having some guy looking at you "down there" is the least of your worries at the moment I should think.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (29 May 2007):
Bat,
How do you know the sex of the fetus at only 4 weeks?...
And it doesn't matter what our opinions are - you need to talk to a doctor and get into family counseling because if this problem is real, you're going to need more help than any of us can provide.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, candy00s  +, writes (29 May 2007):
 Its normal for you to be scared about having a baby, tell me a woman who wouldnt be.
Talk to your doctor of you bfs mum about this.
Your scared you dont know what to expect.
Lots of women go on to have many babies so just think it cant be that bad can it.
im sure u will be okay try not to worry the birth is a long way off yet.
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A
female
reader, batman +, writes (29 May 2007):
batman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok so im 4 weeks pregnant and i found out the baby iz a girl but im really scare about haveing the baby cuz i don't want a guy looking at me down there, what if the baby dies at birth, what if i die when the babys born cuz that happens to some people. and what if my baby is a lesbian or she has "probloms" i think aboutthis everyday.
other then all that im really excited to have this baby cuz i mean tis is something that me and my boyfriend get to experiance together.
so wuts ur opinion about all of this.
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A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (28 May 2007):
from what you have been writing it sounds to me that you are sure you want to have this baby. DOnt let anyone pressure you into giving the baby up for adoption or having an abortion. You know in your mind what you want, and your decision will be with your for the rest of your life.
Give your mum time, as i said its bound to have been a huge shock for her and your family, but im sure in time she will come round and accept that what is done is done.
Im sure with your boyfriend and his family you will be able to have this baby and cope.
As for school im sure they could arrange for you do work from home and just do so many days in school. Allowing you to look after the baby.
I hope everything works out for you and that you make the decisions, as it is you that anything will have an affect on more so than anyone else.
xxxxx
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A
female
reader, Bella666 +, writes (28 May 2007):
 Hiya hun I've recently found out I'm pregnant & even at 19 it was a HUGE shock! I know people say that if your responsible enough to have sex your resposible enough to deal with the consequences but this just isn't true, your still very very young. Having sex & creating life are totally different things.
I'm sorry to hear that your mam hasn't yet supported you in this but please give her some time & space, this has probably been more of a shock to her than to you as she still sees you as her little girl, her baby. Thankfully my parents were there for me from the beginning it was my boyfriend of 4 years that freaked at the idea of being a parent, it's been difficult but he's come around, more than a case of he feels he has to rather than wants to. Which isn't an ideal situation to bring a child into. Give your mother time & hopfully after the inital shock is over she will want to help & support you but for now confide in your boyfriend, his parents & friends or teachers you trust.
I was never against an abortion but like you considered I just wouldn't be able to live with myself. But I did consider it because I didn't feel ready to bring a child into the world, to give up all the things I have now & give it everything I could & especially at your age I think it will be extremly difficult so please consider every option.
Lastly, I would like to give you all my love & hope that everything will work out for you & you will decide whats right for YOU because it's mainly your responsibility as scary as that sounds. And also don't feel at fault because it can happen to ANYONE so you shouln't feel judge. I was on the pill but unfortunately messed it around when I started working nightshifts at work & just forgetting to take it but nothing could have prepared me for the shock of my life. Having said that please do sort some form of contraception out after this that suits you.
Good luck & all the best in whatever you decide to do xx
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A
female
reader, batman +, writes (28 May 2007):
batman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbut to have an abortion thats just wrong it's killing human life and to think that if i give my baby up for adoption think about when the baby is around the age 9-10 or something around that and he/she asks "where/who is my mom" if he/she does get adopted its foster parents cud take him/her all the way across country for all i no. i wud at least want to see or no or even talk to my child and be apart of her/his life its my baby and if i do give it up or have an abortion i won't be able to live with myself wat if i do that and regret it the rest of my life i don't want that
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female
reader, batman +, writes (27 May 2007):
batman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok im ganna stay at my bfs house and live with him, his mom, also his little sister. when we went to the doctor she said the baby wuz fine but im scare about being a parent. my bfs mom said she'll take as much time off from work as she can to help me and my bf i will still go to school but right now my school is still in the 1st week of summer break! i just tryed to call my mom and i asked if she wud talk to me but before i even got the sentence out she hung up on me. when the baby comes i just want to do the best for it and try to be the best parent i can. and vixy yes i will say people having sex has gotten alot younger.
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female
reader, rambini +, writes (27 May 2007):
 im not judging u at all, but if u r mature enuf 2 have sex then u have 2 b mature enuf 2 face the consequences. this means talking to your parents and deciding what u want to do. u r still just a baby urself and a baby is a life long commitment. wen u r 17 and are too skint to learn to drive wen all ur friends r, or 18 and cant go out to clubs with ur friends coz of ur baby, u myt feel differently. i wud urge u to think this thru much more seriosuly.
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female
reader, vixy +, writes (27 May 2007):
ok, well.
now that's cleared up. are you going to stay at your boyfriend's mothers's house?
or are you and your boyfriend going to live together?
since you want to keep the baby. you should start finding out how to do things if your still going to school.
and if so who's going to look after the child.
you and your boyfriend plus his mum need a very long chat.
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female
reader, candy00s +, writes (27 May 2007):
your mum and dad may well come round - they must be in shock, i doubt they were ready to hear there little girl was having a baby!
At least you have you boyfriend and his mums support.
Im sure you will get through this and make great parents.
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female
reader, vixy +, writes (27 May 2007):
if the 10-12 is true then i must say. people having sex has gotten younger.what you need to do is talk to your parents, that's the most important thing. then go to your doctors or family planning clinic to get checked out see if you and your baby is fine. then it's your choice if you want to keep the baby or not
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female
reader, batman +, writes (27 May 2007):
batman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh and my boyfriend, the only reason he didn't use protection wuz cuz he had all his condoms in his wallet and he had lost it at the creek over the week-end! thanx, i told my mom and dad so they kicked me out of the house, so i walked to my boyfriends house and me and him told his mom she wuz mad but she supported us and she said that we wuz ganna try and take care of the baby and so she took me and my bf to the doctor and she said i can keep the baby but if we don't take care of it we had to give it up for adoption when it's born cuz she also thinks it's wrong to have an abortion
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female
reader, batman +, writes (27 May 2007):
batman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok but i don't want an abortion and i don't want to give the baby up 4 adoption when it comes-thats just wrong i don't care about the age its just wrong for people to do that but i no people that do that are just trying to do whats right! thanx 4 ur help
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female
reader, candy00s +, writes (27 May 2007):
Okay - you really need to tell you parents. They are going to be upset/mad of course they will you are there little girl and this is going to be a great shock to them. But you can't go through this alone.
Go and see a doctor as well they can help you.
xxxx
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (27 May 2007):
 I don't judge your mistake but if you were old enough to be making babies, then you are old enough to take a deep breath and tell your parents. That won't be an easy conversation as I can imagine any parent being shocked at their young daughter being pregnant. However, you definitely need antenatal health care and a supportive midwife to get through this. You will need to tell your teacher too as the school must make arrangements to educate you once the baby comes out. There are lots of community services for young teenage mum's like yourself but you need an adult for help and support at the moment.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2007): I woudl do some research for planned parent hood clinics in the area- you may be able to get an abortion or figure out adoptive services. You are too young to be a mother- I would try to defer that until later. Also- PLEASE go to the gyno and get some birth control- that will help you in the long run, from what I gather you didnt use protection!? Do they educate you in school about pregnancy and the risks? Try to be more responsible next time talk to a councelor they can help you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2007): Tell your mom if you wish to first start and talk to a teacher or someone who you can talk to comfortably and in confidence I recommend it but sooner is better. But you must come around to telling your mom sometimes you might be surprised but you are very young.
Good Luck
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (27 May 2007):
I'm pretty much shocked. You're still a baby, and you're having a baby. You shouldn't have been having sex for many years to come. You need to tell your parents ASAP.
DV1
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female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (27 May 2007):
 Well babes, I am going to be blunt straight to the point because its what you need, your only between 10-12 years of age your still a baby yourself no age at all to be pregnant you have so many years a head life is so hard as it is hun....as well as being under age, you need to tell your Mum as sonn as possible so she can help you make all the right choices, she is going to find out sooner or later so you just as well get it over with...
Pleas babes think about this very hard you need help, you have not said how old your boyfriend is, if he is around the same age as you he will be just as lost and confussed as you are, your your mums baby and although she will be shocked I know she will be there for you and that is just what you need right now...
Please let me know how you get on tell your mum straight away you have to face and deal with your responsibilites x
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2007): WOW well you are rather young but i know that you think that your parents will kill you and they might get really really mad and be disappointed in you but the best thing that you can do is sit you parents down and talk to them and tell them this way you guyz can figure out what you can do i mean your going to be a mother now and you have to learn how to be responsible and the responsible thing to do is to tell your parents.and your boyfriend needs to tell his parents to. this way on both ends yall can figure out what to do before its too late. having a baby is a big responsibilty now you need to stand up for what you did reguardless of what you think anybody will say. its better to have yur family with you along the way then it is to do it alone. good luck let us know how it goes!!
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