A
male
age
51-59,
*armatrainwreck
writes:Hello all, hope someone can help answer what happened with my girlfriend and I, we have been dating for several months a long distance relationship, we have been either flying or taking the train and having a great time together making love and telling each other we love each other all the time, talking about moving in together and getting married and starting a family this felt like the real deal, both missing each other when we are away from one another, talking for hours on the phone, and in love...She runs a restaurant for the summer months, and is pushed to the limits of stress she works some days eighteen hours a day, she needs to make enough money to last the rest of the year and has 16 or so teenage workers, now everything was going great until the restaurant opened, then I started to see a change,three weeks in to the season she broke up with me and says, I need you to know I never meant to hurt you..I really thought I could do this I thought love would grow but I realize that you are being cheated if you don't have all of me..she says you deserve to have someone in your life who loves you with all their heart and can give back all the love you are capable of giving them. I'm to closed off for you, I'm not ready for this kind of love..she says... I need to find someone worthy of my love... she has told me I'm the best man she has ever met, and just so many nice things,, I have met her family and friends and they all love me too,, everyone is blown away with her decision to break up with me I have treated her with all the respect and love that I have in my heart.. and would do anything for her, I have been understanding and really ok with the fact that we may not be able to spend any time together during the summer..why if she loves me and says I am the best would she break up with me and what can I do to get this beautiful wonderful closed off women back..
View related questions:
broke up, long distance, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010): i'm in a long distance relationship also. at one point in time i also broke up with my bf bcuz the occasional visitz didn't seem like enough. i thought that i was just waisting a great guyz time. so i broke up with him so i woudn't b waisting his life. but he pleaded for me back. and he told me so many sweet things that i culd not resist. tell her that you don't care if the time u spend with her is short...as long as shez still yours. tell her that her not being yours is something you cannot stand. just tell her completley everything u feel about her and how you feel without her. if you really feel like shez the one, never give up. show her that u need her. if u can prove that, i can promise she'll never wana b with n e 1 else.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 May 2010):
 Long distance relationships are tough to sustain. Did you start out living close by but one of you moved?
My initial thought when I read your question was "move." One of you would have to move in order for the two of you to be together.
Look, I was in an LDR for several years. It's not easy and there's no guarantee it's going to work out. Add that to the stress she's undergoing, and it sounds like it was too much for her.
She may simply not see herself with you in the longterm, and so staying in a relationship with you just wasn't a good idea. She tried to be in love with you, but realized that she wasn't reciprocating the feeling in the same way you were feeling about her. She recognized that it was one-sided and even though you are a wonderful man, she's not the woman for you.
Sadly, she simply may not love you enough to sustain a long distance relationship. To change that, you'd have to move. Even then, she may not love you with the same intensity you are describing about your own feelings. She may have tried, and failed. It's too bad and I feel for you but you may be in a no-win situation here.
I would suggest that you give her the summer to think about it, and she may realize that she does indeed miss you and love you and more importantly, need you. Give her a chance to get through the summer, I think. She may have a change of heart after it's over. Keep the lines of communication open, but go on about your life, date other women.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 May 2010):
 I think she just tried to tell you with tact and kindness that she is not in love with you. Of course she appreciates all your excellent qualities and she told you so, but if she feels that the special spark,the little "je ne sais quoi " is missing, she was honest in ending the relationship.
I don't think this has got to do with the restaurant because after all summer only last 3 months and a strong love can survive a 3 months absence.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010): Sounds like the old cliche "I love you but I am not inlove with you".... Sorry but I suspect this girl has met someone else.
...............................
|
