A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello everyone. So i need help. Ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year and couple months. We do care about each other very much, i was so in love with him and i loved everything about him. Things have changed though. .. ive noticed a change in his attitude. now i understand when you first meet someone and your both all lovey dovey and wanna talk and see eachother every second of everyday, and then evenually things die down a bit and you both start wanting your space and time to miss eachother. It's been like that with all my relationships in the past and is natural.But with my bf now when we get into arguments he gets very angry and shuts down. sometimes he will even get in my face depending on the subject of the fight and how long his emotions abt the subject have been bottled up. its always scary to see him like that. when we first started dateing, we would get into fights but the second he would leave or something i would get a text from him that night saying things like dont be mad at me baby it hurts my hearts or im sorry. just things like that, that really matter to me and it truly is one of the reasons i fell for this man. he was so understanding and was always trying to make me happy and was always so quick to say sorry. but now its so different. one night we had a great day together everything seemed fine and then i went home, fell asleep and woke up and he was annoyed at me that i didnt call like i said i would. so that night i called him and we got into it and he was just screaming on the top of his lungs and didn't care if he hurt me or not, he always calls me horrible names when hes mad at me and i start crying and all he ever says is stop crying its annoying. what am i suppose to say to that? he's so cold hearted towards me sometimes i never seem to understand it. when we arent argueing hes the sweetest thing ever. he always tells me he loves me, calls me beautiful, tells me when he misses me, and makes me laugh. but the moment we get into a fight hes a complete diffrent person, and i never know how to handle it. I really believe he has a anger issue and its ruining our love for one another. i hate to say it but i honesly lost a lot of respect and love towards him bc of the way he treats me when hes angry. its getting to the point were even when we make up, i still feel really upset cause we havent talked over the fight we just had. im so afraid of telling him how i feel cause he doesnt seem to care and gets really mad and calls me crazy. when he fight he ignores me all day and sometimes for days. the only time ill get a text from him it says hes going out and then he'll turn his phone off. i just dont understand. whenever i cause a fight he always expects a sorry from me, and ushually i do say sorry but now im just so fed up. it seems the reason we fight now a days is bc of his anger. he has no control over it. i never feel comforted from him like i use to. even when he knows the fight was his fault he doesnt say sorry, he just ignores me and then tries to talk to me like nothing happened and excpects me to do the same, and if i bring up the fight and try to talk about it, he will ignore me for a few more days. i just dont understand him. when hes not mad hes such a wonderful, respectful, loving man. when we have sex he always is so gentel and caring of my needs and patiente and then when hes mad he doesnt respect my feelings at all. i really want him to work on his anger, we've even talked about it a couple times and hes always says hes gunna work on it. but i feel its only getting worst! and i really believe hes the man for me but his anger is really getting in the way. what should i do?
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