A
female
age
30-35,
*ami
writes:I am so confused right now, basically i started going out with my boyfriend when i was 14 and for the first 3 years our relationship was amazing, really really good, we did everything together and we were so perfect and over the last year things have started to go wrong, just little things at first, us getting snappy etc, and then things have started getting worse big rows blah blah blah, and then recently im ashamed to say ive cheated on him with my best friend. I dont know what it was that made me do it, he wasnt giving me any attention and every time i saw him we argued because he was moody, so i recently moved into my own flat which has put a lot of stress on me and im really struggling for money. I am a very generous person and i would give someone my last fiver even if it left me with nothing, whereas he is really selfish. I was crying the other day because of money and how stressed i am, and he was bugging me saying, cant we go to cinema, cant we go out, and i kept saying no money, and then he said oh im off to london on wednesday (today) and i just looked at him and said what? and he was like yeah ive got 200quid to go with, and i just felt a sudden rush of anger come over me. I couldnt believe it! I had struggled so much and he sat and watched and he had 200quid to bugger off to london with. I walked out and came home and ignored him and said i didnt wanna know. I then met this guy (sorry guys this is long) who was lovely, we had a dance and a really nice chat and he kept saying how gorgeous i was and he wasnt just interested in getting in my knickers! And i couldnt believe how sweet he was, i ended up kissing him but i didnt take his number because i felt so guilty. I then told my boyfriend this and he flipped. We had possibly the biggest row we have ever had and we said it was over. So for the past two days i have been trying to sort myself out and get to terms with loosing him, and i woke up today and actually started to feel better about it. He then rang me today and said i have made a mistake i love you so much please get back with me. And no matter how hard i think i am so confused!!! I really dont know if i am best being single, but then i dont wanna throw our relationship away. I really dont know what to do or say. He is meeting me tommorow to talk, but i know as soon as i see him upset i will feel like i have to get back with him, and i dont wanna do that and then in a week things get shitty again, but then on the other hand i dont wanna say no and then regret it. Please help gurlies. I am so confused :(Any replies will be hugely apprechiated xxx
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best friend, I love you, kissing, money, moved in Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Thank you very much for the up date.
I'm happy to hear it made you stronger and that you're getting on so well now.
Good luck. x
A
female
reader, Kami +, writes (5 August 2008):
Kami is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCan i just say thank you so much for your replies!
I ended it for good and have been single nearly 2month now and i feel better than ever! I am free, i dont have to worry about him and i am just more comfortable within myself and i feel so much stronger as a person for dealing with the break-up because it was hard and at times it would have been easier just to say yeah lets get back. So thank you so much :)
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): You need to give yourself time. Plenty of time.
You need to think things through. I think if you forced yourself to make a choice tonight then you would regret what ever choice it was.
Tell him that you need time and so does he. You both really need to think about what you want and give yourselves time to come to terms with what happened. If in a while you do decide to get back together you need to talk about what went wrong with your relationship and why it broke down. You should tell him that you're not blaming him for your cheating, but that the relationship was getting a little hard before that happened. Tell him how you felt and why you felt that way and make sure that tells you how he feels and why.
Try to understand each other and look at the other's point of view. Don't interpute eachother.
Tomorrow will be a good chance for you both to talk about everything... But what ever happens I really think it would be best if you gave yourself lots and lots of time. Explain to him that you both need time to ensure that you're doing that right thing.
Good Luck. x Please let us know how you got on.
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A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 Wow, you've been together since you were 14? That's insane.
I'm sorry to say this sweetie, but I think your relationship with your boyfriend has run its course. Especially you've cheated on him TWICE and no one who truly loves their partner would do that to them.
You need to just make a clean break and be single for a while, you've been with him for what? 4+ years? You haven't really gotten to explore, date other people or just be on your own.
Break up. Don't feel like you have to stay together because it will make him upset.
If you two really love each other, then you'll eventually get back together and work things out.
Hope this helps
xo
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