A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Merry christmas to everyone!My question is not about love or romance, but mores about parenting. I would like the older aunts who are raising or have raised sons to answer.I have a preteen 11 yr old who I can tell is getting curious about sex. I know this is normal at around his age. I notice his hands are frequently by his genitalia when he is in bed under the covers.My problem is when he has been kissing me lately, he has been giving me these long passionate kisses on my cheek and moaning "mmm.". I know a part of him is imitating what he sees on TV as kids are exposed to so much nowadays.I have told him that those type of kisses are inappropriate to give mommy and said most kids give their mother a peck on the cheek and hug. He laughs after he does these type of kisses sometimes and when I say to him that he is to kiss me how a child kisses a mother, and that his kissing me like that is "creepy" and disrespectful and makes mommy feel uncomfortable, well he pulls away and says "you don't love me or you don't want me to kiss you."I tell him that I do love him and at his age it is normal to have curiosity about stuff like that and to have crushes on girls, but that one day when he is older and has a girlfriend or wife he will kiss them like that.Has this ever happened to someone else and if so, how did you handle it? I don't want to make him feel unloved or appear cold. Please no perverted responses. Any sincere responses will be appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to those who have responded. I am hoping he will outgrow it. Didn't really want to go through the "talk" quite yet with him as I think he is not ready for another year or so. It's hard too, because I am a single mom and he is my only child.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2011): Hi! Sorry, I'm not at parent either but I'm a 22 year old who had somewhat of a similar experience. Once when I was around 10 or 11 I just came out of a shower and went into my room to change. My mother was in there and for fun I decided to put on a strip tease for her (yeah, I know) but it wasn't until I got older that I understood it was wrong. At the time she shouted at me and told me not to ever do that again. I was pretty frightened that I was shouted at for something I had seen on TV but her let me sternly know that I shouldn't do that helped because I never did it again. Don't use words like "creepy" just firmly let him know it is wrong just like you did when he was younger.I heard somewhere that most men develop some sort of attraction to there mother as a child, (yeah, I know) I'm not 100% sure if this is true but it seems sensible as weird and creepy as it sounds. If you and your son was on a deserted island like it or not he'd develop feelings for you but as he gets older he will socialize more and meet girls and express that emotion with them as well as learn that doing that to you is wrong and repulsive.For the most part its just a phase that will go away to be used on that girl with the cigarettes and tattoos you hate so much.Hope this helps. Happy parenting.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2011): Ooh thats a tough one! Obviously he is feeling sexually frustrated and has not learnt to satisfy himself yet, which he will. So when he does it should calm down. Im pretty sure he doesnt realise quite what he is doing and as you have said probably just repeating what he has seen. Maybe its time for that talk with dad haha.
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