A
female
age
41-50,
*es
writes:My boyfriend of 6-7 months, who I haven’t seen in a while due to hectic work schedules, has been acting really distant lately and avoiding me for the past couple of weeks. When I finally threatened to break up with him he told me that I'm the nicest person he's met, and he's been very stressed about how often we can meet and its not enough time to get to know a person, and he's very paranoid about not being with me all the time and would rather avoid everything now than deal with possible sadness later. I tried being reassuring, loving, etc., but no help. Before I lose my boyfriend to his newfound meloncholy, how about of an idea is some tough love? I’m already a pretty outspoken person, so would I completely ruin things if I were to literally slap some sense into this coward and tell him to either pick me and stop moping(he can work on his self-esteem later) or pick his pity party and I walk out the door. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): Sometimes when men start to get feelings for a women they freak out and try to break it off. Men are taught to be macho and if they are feeling that they need you it can make men act strangly. Ethier they can get realy into the relationship or pull away all together because they are scared to commit.Sounds like your guy may have had his heart broken before and is scared of that happing agian hence the shutting himself off to you. Tell him he is never going to find love if he dosn't surrender to it. If you realy like this guy maybe give him some time show him that your there for him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): Wow! What a flame on you girl, torch his butt! lol
Sometimes, when we get the blues, if we don't get over it, we can sink even lower. I think it all surrounds a need we have, a basic but potent need. It may seem immature, it may seem selfish, but it is real. Those who put on a strong front, are usually more susceptible to a crash later, and the front temporarily protects them, and prevents the past from raising its ugly head.
We at times will all need a dose of motherly love, compassion and nurturing. You alone cannot figure out what this basic need is, and most people don't, unless they've allowed themselves the torture of going deeper inside and finding it. Many who search for this end up hurting themselves, but with a certain control and guidance, it can be avoided. Knowing someone is attached to them mentally, maybe enough for them to stand up on there own two feet an conquer the world.
All he may need, is to know your there for him, that he is important to you, and that when your both apart, you still feel connected to him.
I hope this gives you some creative ideas to reverse this low moment for him.
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