A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with someone else and yet I am married ..but I can’t afford to leave the marriage because I have 2 kids with my husband and my financial security is not stable...the one I am in love with is also not financially stable ...but if I stay in this marriage I will forever be regretting..because even though his loving and can provide for me now...,I don’t love him ... His old, not romantic ,and spoils money on useless things ...so I know that even if I stay ..the little I make is what will build us...but right now we live in a house left my his late mum for him and his sister...and because he has a job ... so I separate and struggle slowly slowly on the little I earn ...
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, JustDad  +, writes (21 January 2021):
 If I understand the question correctly, you are wanting financial security so you can leave the man providing the financial security to be with a man who could use some of that security for himself? Are you gainfully employed, yourself? How long have you been married and how long have you known this new person? I have to assume, since you’re married with children, you had to have loved your husband at one time, right? You also knew the difference in your ages long before you decided to get married and start a family (how many years difference between the two men and yourself?) You’ve already started pointing out flaws with the new man when you pointed out his current issue with financial security. Are you expecting to take your half of the equity in your home when you leave? I bring all this up to point out the fact it appears you’ll eventually be just as unhappy with the new man, given enough time. Because you’re relying too much on others, for your own happiness. The perfect relationship is like a unicorn. We’ve all heard of them and can easily explain the concept but actually touching or having one of your own would take a miracle. Divorce may be as common as wearing a COVID-19 mask but it’s no small matter when children are involved. The grass will always be greener on the other side of the fence. But if you take the time to properly water and care for your own lawn, you’ll always be standing on green grass.
A
female
reader, Tawii  +, writes (31 December 2020):
 Hey dear
Wow that’s a situation you put yourself into girl.
Well I don’t know you personally ,but I really hope that you married your currently husband not just for the money, as money doesn’t bring love into a unit .
Well if you didn’t married him ,because of the money only,
Think about why you got married to him at the first place etc
Take a break from your affair .you knew how old he was and that he isn’t romantic you signed up to this yourself, don’t want to sound hard on you
I find it sad that you Focus on his money, why not try yourself looking for a good paid job and work things out 4 yourself don’t depend on someone
Rather concentrate on yourself and yourself love .
is it really love you feel 4 this new guy in your life ? Ask yourself this.
your is it just the lust
I am not sure that this is really love you are feeling I am pretty sure you feeling something but not super sure that this is love .
Cause right now you are using 2 ppl to feed your needs
I told myself that long ago never rely on someone to fill your needs it never ends up good cause then you never work on yourself but only looking for ppl to help you to fulfil your needs
Your are hurting your husband with this affair maybe and will hurt probably this new guys to when you choose to drop him at then end because he can’t provide for you
Think about your kids what will they learn from you
Go chase men a for wealth that’s not a good example
If you don’t want to be with your husband leave him ,but don’t abuse him fro his money or status that’s not fair if you want to be with this new guy and break your marriage go ahead but don’t play with ppl emotions that’s shit hurts. If don’t leave him work on things with him.
I am not saying that you can’t change your mind etc cause you can that’s normal but you have lived with your husband I guess for a while, and you didn’t have lived with this new men when love is fresh it feels super good but just wait until the honeymoon phase is over
And you should tell your husband that you have been seeing someone else
...............................
|
