A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well.. I have been with my partner for nearly 2 years, we live together and have a child! But just lately i'm questioning if we should really be together! He's extremely lazy, he leaves plates and cups lying around, throws his clothes on the bedroom floor and just assumes i'll clean up after him! If I ask him to do something I have to ask 3+ times before he actually does it! And its just getting too much! He never does anything for our daughter when he's home! I understand that he's tired from working (he works 40 hours a week) but it doesn't take 2 seconds to take a plate into the kitchen! I just feel like I have to be a mother to him! He can't handle his finances so I end up doing that too! He wants another better paid job and he won't look for one and asks me to do it, then when I find one he wont apply for it. Also I do not get on with most of his family! His mother is extemely rude, she won't even talk to me in my own home and when we visit them she makes no effort to have a conversation with me, she just takes the baby and won't give her back to me (not even when she wanted a bottle) Also I do not get on with his sister as she told alot of lies about me when I was pregnant, she told people she would be the surrogate mother to my child and that I was bulimic when I had awful sickness through out the whole pregnancy!So basically I just dont know if its really worth all the bother? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 Your husband will have to pay child support so then all you can do is try to save up some money, maybe take some online classes to make you more employable. Your standard of living is going to be lower after you leave but you will also increase your level of happiness.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut I'm scared, I have no money and not many qualifications so I'd be really stuck and I don't want to claim from the state, my daughter deserves better than that!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 March 2010):
Leave him. He's not much of a father anyway so I think your daughter won't be that affected. Sort the finances out as best you can and get on with your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did love him but I think I'm just so fed up of everything! I've had to leave my job because his sister works there too and I can't deal with her keep telling lies! I think its because I want my daughter to have a father, he said if we were to break up he wouldn't have anything to do with me or her ever again :(
We didn't live together before we had a baby so I didn't realise things would be like this! I have tried so hard its unreal! But somethings just make me snap.. Like for example when he leaves our child sat in a dirty nappy and waits for me to come and change her, thats not only unfair on me but our daughter too! Also he was the one who put alot of pressure on me to keep the child, don't get me wrong I would never be without her now, but why put so much pressure on me to have a baby and get our own place then behave like this?
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A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (10 March 2010):
 I hate to sound rude here but maybe you should have considered all of this before you had his child. Sure you can run out and go it all alone but running away is not the answer. Regardless of if this bother is worth it all is not what you should be thinking about.
Right now you may have to make effort to build relationships instead of hoping they will just form. Some nuts are tough to crack but with patience and communication you can at the very least have a good conscience and say "You tried."
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 March 2010):
Nope, not one mention of love in this posting. What's keeping you there?
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