A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey.my girlfriend is so insecure because of what i have done in the past or so she tells me. i Am going to be compeltely honest and i need you people to tell me if its me or if its her issues. We have been dating for 11 months and we both do love eachother dearly and we both know that. But at the start of the realtionship im talking 2 weeks into the relationship i made a comment about this girl. It went like this i just found out my mate was dating this girl and i said to my girlfriend " props to him". She still brigns that up to this day saying that i was implieing she is hot. Also arond that time in the relationship i did how ever say this girl is gorgeous, i know really disrespectful and hurtful i cannt tell you how much i regret that and have not said anything of the sort for 10 and a half months. She has also seen me glance at a few girls and once i relaised that upset her i stopped doing it, but 2 months ago she told me she had got her friends to walk past me when i wasnt with her in a shopping centre and that i looked at them and i had been doing it behind her back, is this bad? not doing it infront of her but maybe looking at some girls when shes not there? When we fight she tells me how shit i make her feel and how low her selfesteem is. She tells me she finds no other guys attratcive and forced me to tell her why i had looked at girls then she cries and cries. What can i do.Also i watched this movie that had 2 sex scenes in it and is classfied as a thriller in movie genres, when she saw i had watched that she went crazy and cut her hair and always brigns it up and makes me feel guilrty. I am young and i dont see my mates anymore and i dont go to the city EVER! because she dosent like me going, i am always with her but she wont let these thigns go.Is what ive done bad, how can i make her feel better when she dosent accept my compliments because she goes you think every1 is hot....I need help besdies dumping her but at this point its going down that path because i feel i am making her miserable.I dont even have 1 girl as a friend and never talk to any girls should this not make her feel secure.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): hi wrote the question and no i do not stare at girls and would never compare. even she admits it, its usually a second glance .
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (30 December 2010):
 hi
well from what you have said, she does sound hellishly insecure and if she continues like this she is gonna have a really miserable life, with or without you. have you told her how bad she makes you feel and that she is damaging the relationship? she really needs to get some help for this. are you her first boyfriend? or has she been this way in previous relationships? can I ask though - every time she accuses you of looking at girls, is it coz you have looked? and honestly has it just been a glance or a more lingering look? think about your actions and then ask yourself if you saw her look at a man in the same way would that be something that would worry you? there is nothing wrong with looking, sounds like she is over-sensitive to it though. why should you let someone forbid you to see your mates or go out with them? you are LETTING yourself be dictated to but then your complaining about it. gain some of your freedom and life back, it doesn't mean your gonna cheat! if she can't accept you having any sort of life outside the relationship then she is gonna have to find a way to deal with that either by getting counselling to learn to cope with it or by letting you go
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): this girl has many issues and insecurities. I should know my ex was the exactly the same. I think its best you break up because this girl will only be a burden on you. If you dont break up get her to a councillor or psychologist now. She will continue to guilt trip and play other games and things will only get worse. I feel sorry for you, i know what its like to be in love with someone like this. Weve been apart for over a year now and i still care about her, but will never go back. Goodluck mate
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (30 December 2010):
 This girl has serious issues and insecurities. Be careful or soon she'll have convinced you to blindfold yourself when you go to the shopping mall... sheesh!
Whats concerning is how she sounds like she is unable to accept that this is AT LEAST partly her problem... she went crazy and cut her hair... that's your fault how?? She also doesn't seem to forgive ANYTHING that you may or may not be doing and that's a big red flag if ya ask me.
Please don't rule out dumping her, because someone who never forgives or forgets WILL eventually overwhelm you with all these accumulated past events.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): Whoah, and I thought I was bad!!
This girl sounds like she needs to look within herself and do some real thinking about herself before being in a relationship at all.
You should not be punished for having eyes, and looking at other girls just in passing. You should not be staring either, mind you. That's not what this sounds like.
This girl sounds totally insecure and obsessive.
You should be allowed to have girl friends. Does she have guy friends? Talk to her about it. Let her know how it makes you feel. Tell her she shouldn't act like that if she wants to keep you. You can either have her and look at other girls once in a while, or she can lose you by being so possessive of you and then she will have more things to worry about than you just looking.
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