A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. So I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. No, our relationship isn't perfect as I've been struggling with depression and its killed my sex drive but he understands and is really nice about it. However, it really does my head in because he sleeps in ALL of the time. I like to be up early but he sleeps and sleeps and I ask him to get up so we can have some quality time but he will sleep and continue to ignore me. I've been up since 7am this morning and I wanted to do something so I asked him to get up at 10 and he wouldn't. It really puts me in a horrible mood because I end up stuck doing nothing. :/ Any suggestions to why he is doing this and what I can do? P.S he goes to bed quite early sometimes and still sleeps for like 13 hours plus.
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (27 May 2013):
 Other than him being ill (needing to seek a Doctor) or just plain lazy (needing a kick into gear) it would be best to go about your own business, plan and enjoy the day without him. Don’t depend on him for your happiness. As for your depression (moods) you’d be sensitive to your environment and some people like Mr. Sleepy Head may not care to take part in life in their waking hours. This is where you get caught waiting for him to wakeup.Naturally you’d like his company, yet the company he is offering you at present is affecting your condition and bring about these moods. Which I believe, you need to remove yourself from and replace it with something positive – other friends, and look into some hobbies? If he is sick naturally you’d care to him.However I am familiar with depression, medication side-effects and those things that affect my mood... The choice I make is one that suits me to remain healthy – balanced. If my partner chooses to sleep it’s because he’s tied from work or is sick and not from a full days watching TV for example, so I don’t get upset etc. If he was just plain lazy, one I won’t choose to be with such a man, as that negative trait would drag me down after a short while, so I’d have to remove myself from that negative source and seek positive people etc.Take Care – CAA
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2013): I sleep like this only when my iron is down, or I am depressed. It's not that he is ignoring you, he just wants to sleep. Or it an be some more serious problems like if he is taking any muscle relaxants or sleeping pills.
In any case, 13 hours is a very long time to sleep even for someone young.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2013): OP 13 hours is very bad sign in terms of a person health, he really needs to go see a doctor about that kind of pattern.
That much sleep is one of the symptoms of some very serious illnesses like diabetes or heart disease.
OP I think your issue here is a non-issue if I'm honest as compared to what may be going on with him in terms of his body.
OP the only time I've ever slept longer than 10 hours is after a 3 day festival or from days of travelling.
I think you have to put your issue to the side for now, which honestly OP is only a minor annoyance exacerbated by your current state of depression and frankly you could easily go read, go into town and get some things done, pay some bills etc. play a computer game, watch some Jeremy Kyle or something and have your cuddles when he wakes up.
OP I've suffered depression, I understand how hard it is to see anything outside of your own mind, but something is up with your boyfriend that's pretty serious if he's sleeping 13 hours a day.
OP I hope you're getting some kind of help for the depression you have, but in the same token you have cause for concern about him too. Something is not right with him medically or mentally to sleep that long.
First things first, get his health checked. Only after that should you worry about your alternate schedules. They can be worked around with compromise OP. I mean I don't understand how a person can function with only 11 waking hours a day. I spend 10 hours of most of my days going and working. By your boyfriends hours that would only leave me 1 hour a day to relax or get other things done.
OP it's possible the only solution to this issue is a medical one, best to find out if that is the case and letting the matter drop until you find out.
Make sure he's healthy and safe first.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (26 May 2013):
 Sleeping 13 hours sounds like he has depression. That's pretty excessive without a medical / psychological reason.
I checked into this topic because of the title. Many people blame their moods on the actions of others. Without in any way excusing the bad actions of others our moods are our choice. How we react to the actions of others is our choice and determines our mood.
For example: If you are sitting at the computer thinking He is keeping me from doing this and that, getting mad and frustrated about it, you are choosing to be annoyed. If on the other hand, you have turned on some music and are taking care of the house and getting everything ready so you can go the minute he rolls out of bed, you are choosing to be cheerful.
But, seriously, 13 hours daily is something a doctor should be looking into.
FA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2013): This isn't a case of him ignoring you, it's a case of you having different sleeping patterns. How would you feel if he told you it annoyed him that you get up early and he'd prefer it if you slept later to be like him? Unless there is a medical reason for him sleeping for a long time, it's just something you'll have to get used to if you want to stay with him.
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A
female
reader, simone_dana +, writes (26 May 2013):
If he sleeps to much it doesn't mean he is not interested. Btw, he might have a health issue. What does he have to say about that? Ignoring you means preferring other active things over you. I don't consider sleeping being an active thing. Also, does he have a tiring job? There may be more serious reasons for why he needs to sleep. I honestly don't think he ignores you :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2013): Maybe he's just a lazy ass. Next time he does this I would make arrangements to go out with friends instead. He will soon feel left out.
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