A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone, im a 40 yr old woman, who is married to a 43 yr old man, at this time we are seperated, and hes moved out, and i have filed for a divorce, which will be final in another month. i have took a dvepo out on my husband the day he and i seperated because he is abusive and made threats of harming me and having my son taken away from me, the day he was served with the protection order, he turned around and took one on me, under false circumstances. we have had 2 hearings already, and during each hearing the judge for some reason keeps delaying them and setting new dates, i dont know the reason for that, he is with a woman that is about 15 yrs his jr, and the sameone he left with the night we seperated, he tells his family and everyone else that knows me and my kids, that this woman is only his friend, all of this from a man who use to tell me that men and women can never be just friends, but anyway, my son and i were at a church gathering where half the community were having a cookout, etc. i was there about 2 hours when i noticed his gf and him at the front parking lot of this church, his gf seen me and started relaying messages to other people that she knew would tell me, then she started walking by me, calling me names, and threating me with abuse, knowing about the protection orders i had on my husband, i went to the pastor of the church and explained to him that my husband wasnt allowed around me or anywhere where i or my son was, since i was there first, he was supose to leave, the pastor went to ask him and his gf to leave, and my husband disagreed and decided he wanted to be childish and show off in front of me, his son and everyone at the gathering, he started riding 4wheelers back and fourth where he knew i could see him, i am the one who filed for the divorce and epo first, and now hes acting like a child about it, he relays messages back and fourth through my other 2 kids and my family so they will tell me, he tells them if i straghten up and stop nagging him so much, if i would stop all i was doing in the past, he would come back, he tells his family its all my fault and he will never come back, then sees our oldest kids out or somone from my family and saids, i still love her, you just dont stop loving somoene after so many years of marrage, id come back if she would straghten up. he is keeping me upset and i cant deal with all of his drama anymore, please help me, thanks!
View related questions:
divorce, moved out Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (22 June 2008):
 Hi Hunny
Smiles is right about the pillow SCREAM AS LOUD AS U CAN!!!!!Hunny I had 5 injunctions out on my husband each lasting 6 months and he still managed to get intouch some how, He was more than violent, You have to be strong very strong he is behaving like a child oh Ive had taxi's take aways and all sorts arrive at my home and thats when he wasn't even living in the same island..This is how bad it can get and worse and if you let it love it will get you very low..You are getting divorced so just keep that on your mind you dont need to change you are your own person and he needs you to be the way he likes and this is why he behaves so bloody childish...This woman is in his control thats why she is doing his silly work for him trying to show you up hunny he is only showing his true colours...Completely act as if he doesnt Exist he needs to be seen and heard to appear important to himself..He is a bully and a control freak love dont let this get your self esteem down.....
http://www.womensselfesteem.com/index.html This is a great link to help you love, Keep yourself busy if he appears ignore him completely do not give him the satisfaction of even knowing you care if he is around or not, And phone the police if you have an order protecting you they should do something about it..But most of all have faith in yourself that you can come through this and become a stronger woman for it hunny..TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): Oh Dear, this is horrible; you have my empathy; divorce is very seldom easy; in fact it is always emotional and there is most of the time emotionaltrauma involved.
It is so sad that things had to really get this bad; for everybody concerned, but specially for your son;
He is acting very immature and is not thinking about the embarrasment and hurt he is causing your son; he is bitter and filled with anger; he want to embarras you; he is trying to upset you; don't allow him to succeed;
Your divorce is nearly final; hopefully soon he will stop his childish reaction and games if he notices that it is not affecting you; he is like a little boy who cannot accept he has lost; he wants attention; he is trying to get you to hurt or to get upset; he would like for you to cause a scene; vow then he can tell people....look see....
Please hang in there, do not allow him to get the better of you!
Should it get too much, when you are alone at home take a pillow scream and shout in it, but do not give him the satisfaction to loose yourself controll.
In fact, pretend as if what he does and where he goes and what he has to say does not matter to you; yes, tell people you are not interested; tell them as far as you are concerned he is "dead"; don't listen to oh this or that; and to him and little "bimbo" ignore them as if they don't exist.
Best of luck. Trust me it does get better!
Be strong!
...............................
|
