A
male
age
41-50,
*ruce lee
writes:About a week ago, I made a decision to try to get jealousy out of my head. But the problem is I can't get rid of it because it's become like a disease that's built up over a period of ten years. Jeaously is like a disease. Once it starts, it's hard to snap out of.I used to be jealous of other people having a girlfriend/boyfriend or any kind of relationship. I don't want to be that way any more because I realise it's crazy. But as I say, it's in my head and it won't go away.Other people notice it too, but they don't say anything. They are embarrassed by it. And I am embarrassed too.It won't go away. Help me!How long will it take for it to go away???
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female
reader, odeer123  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 Well, normally when your jealous someone your either in desperate want of what they have, or your focussing on the matter too much, and getting strongly affected by it.
I would suggest either A) Finding what they have for yourself, without upsetting the other party, or B) Preoccupying yourself with different thoughts, whatever you think may distract you the most- this could be personal interests, or socialising with others.
I have been jealous on numerous occasions, but it quickly subsides when I convince myself that I have other interests which are far more important and will actually work in my favour. Often, I find myself distracted just by thinking about this, and might not even have to pursue the new ideas/thoughts.
Jealousy is a very hard thing to get over, but if you care enough about those who you are affecting, including yourself, you'll find that immersing yourself in other thoughts will prevent any harm from being done.
To give another example, you could even- if you fail to direct your thoughts elsewhere- warp your jealousy with the internal phrase 'I'm not jealous of YOU, I'm jealous of IT' which prevents any bad thoughts towards any fellow human beings, which is, I think, what you want.
So, try applying some of the above. I can't emphasise strongly enough upon the point that if you convince yourself of your indifference then you won't feel jealous.
Is there anything else that I need to consider? I would love to help more if its needed, or if I need to explain my advice to you a bit better. :)
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