A
male
age
30-35,
*lash423
writes:alright, kind of a long question here. There is this girl in my class at university who is really really cute and i want to get to know her/ask her out, but a few things, first, i am really really shy and usually have problems starting conversations with girls and talking to them unless they say something to me first, second im afraid that she is way out of my league, because she is gorgeous and im not the hottest guy on campus and third there is a bit of a height difference (she is taller), its not a huge difference id say maybe an inch or so. Anyway, about a week ago while in class together i started shooting her a few very quick glances hopefully sending her the message that i am interested in her. So my question is how can i get past the 3 "speed bumps" listed above and what should my next move be?Any help is greatly appreciatedThanks
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male
reader, Advice_man  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 "There is this girl in my class at university who is really really cute and i want to get to know her...": I've heart this line so many times my friend. You are still young to understand some things and i am sorry to say but these stories are mostly success in Hollywood movies. Real life is barely like this. I don't want to dissapoint you but the truth is almost all of us we see daily a cute girl at school, at work, at K-mart, that we would like to get to know better but it just never happens no matter how hard we try! Just don't think about that much, don't give so much efford and it will somehow happen when you least expect it. Best wishes!
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (11 October 2011):
Why not try and find out if you really like her before asking her out? To me it seems the only reason you like her is because she's beautiful.
You cut your own chances short if you plan to ask her out without even having a decent conversation with her beforehand. She'll know you're in it for her looks and if she's as pretty as you say chances are she can "do better". If you want to make a good impression, do so through personality.
I know it's hard to break the ice, so next time try to secure a spot in class next to her. You're bound to talk then. If that scares you too much do something nice before or during break that is bound to get her attention. A guy in my class really charmed me when he asked if he could bring me a cup of coffee while he was going to get one for himself. It's little thoughtful things like that that get things going. Just know the line between being attentive and being a slime.
Lastly, do not make this a looks competition. Pretty girls often get attention because they're pretty. So do something else. Find out what her interests are, weed out things you have in common and talk about that. In class, try to contribute to the discussion with thoughtful, insightful comments and occasionally a joke. Don't overdo it; quality over quantity. If you're shy you should be able to find the right balance.
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A
male
reader, GhostChild  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 Confidence is the answer to all of your questions my friendI used to be extremely shy and withdrawn, unable to talk to a strange girl even if my life depended on it, but you just have to become more confident in yourselfFind topics of conversation to talk to her about. You're in the same class, talk to her about that, perhaps ask her a question about something you're stuck on in class. If possible, try and sit next to or nearby her the next time you have class together.Do you know if she has any interests outside of uni? See if you can start a conversation based on thoseAs for thinking she's not in your league, don't even consider that. If you think she's out of your league then there's no way she'll go out with you. You are in the exact same league as her, you're not below it. It doesn't matter how gorgeous she might be, you're still on the same level. If you convince yourself you're below her then you'll never have the confidence to ask her out.And finally, don't worry about the height difference, one or two inches isn't too bad at all, and unless she is extremely shallow, I'm sure she wouldn't mind.Keep up what you're doing, and remember, confidence!
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