A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi,i am 26yrs old female From INDIA, Andhra pradesh.i have this serious problem with my X-boyfrnd we broke up 5yrs ago but he just dosent seem to accpt it and keeps interfiering in my personal life, keeps threathning me to killing me.he tortures me mentally, keeps talking 2 peaople about our past wat we did, about SEx,and keeps on talking ill about me , and even hacked my Email ID's couple of times.. he black mails me with my pic's and my medical report which he claims is with him when i was dating him and i fell pregnent when i was 21yrs old. he finds me where ever i go , which ever city i go. and by hacking my iD's keeps sending me dirty mails threthning mails. and by tracking my email id contacted my present BF and spoke ill and told himm all this and much more which is not true.the we broke up.. he ruiened my life.. I NEED HELP .. PLz can some one help me.. i dont know where to go whome to contact . I come 4rm a conservative family and if i go to POLICE 2 complain about my X's acts my family and my reputation will be completely distroyed.. What should i do ..is there any comunity or woman organisation who can suggest me wta to do ...BUt PLZ HELP ME SOME ONE.....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (6 November 2009):
 Also read this:http://www.indianchild.com/cyberstalking.htm
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (6 November 2009):
This is stalking and he sounds like a very dangerous person. There are a number of organisations that can provide assistance to you in India. These include the Women's Rights Initiative (see this website: http://www.indianchild.com/domestic_violence_in_india.htm). The only way to deal with this man in the long term is to get the police involved and keep a diary of evidence entering everything he does (threats, blackmail etc). The alternative strategy is to disappear and leave the area/ country for a while. He can only track you on the internet if you use your current name and it would be easy to change emails. Don't use websites such as facebook that make is easy to find you - become anonymous for a while.
You must completely stop any communication with this man - answering him or reading his emails is giving his disturbed mind 'hope' that he is controlling you and getting attention from you. Go away from your family and start again in a new place. Do not tell friends where you are going so he cannot find out. There is every chance that he will stop stalking you if he cannot find you for a while (sadly he may find a new target). Once the emotions of terror subside, you will probably just feel anger towards him and then be motivated to take action against him.
He clearly needs psychiatric help and it would help if you could report him to the authorities for his own sake. I appreciate this would take enormous courage so get yourself to a safe place and seek counselling to sort out your feelings related to the victimisation by this man.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 November 2009):
Yes, call the police and tell the this is happening, and consder hiring a solicitor to get a restraining order. Your reputation can be saved, but you can't unless you say something to someone now.
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A
male
reader, called Steve +, writes (6 November 2009):
 The Community and Organisation you need to contact is the same number as your local police station.
I empathise with your situation but I suspect most A & U would recommend the same action - you are being threatened for goodness sake!
Your family will support you for your actions - but you do need to get evidence of his threats either covertly or overtly. You need to record his actions and take them to the Police as soon as possible.
Really... good luck with this but he should not be allowed to continue with this behaviour!
Steve
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): I respect your customs, sister, but only one thing will work for you: RESTRAINING ORDERRESTRAINING ORDERRESTRAINING ORDERRESTRAINING ORDER...customs won't give you back your life and future if this psychopath goes through with one of his threats... family honor vs. LIfe.. I choose lifeLove,g
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