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female
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*cnwoo
writes: Should I stay with him if...?We were together for 3 yrs and broke up, then got back together for 6 months and I'm ready to call it quits again.To my 3 calls he has one. Sometimes doesn't call for 2 or more days at a time.Is never around when I need him to be (but when he is he's great).He's taking a year off college and unstable jobs to him means his life is together now instead of doing nothing and to me it's not together..andwe never seem to see eye to eye on many subjects like this. However, he says he loves me and things will get better...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): It sounds like you've already made up your mind. Move on before it's too late.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2005): Thanks for the replies, I'm not with him anymore
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2005): Love the one that loves yo instead of the one you love...that means that if you love the one that LOVES YOU then you know that becaus ethat person LOVES YOU that they will do everything in their power to keep you happy. But if you LOVE the one that YOU LOVE and you are still unhappy then you need to evaluate the place where you love for each other began or if it really even started.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2005): go with your heart if your questioning your relationship somthing isn't right. Take some time for you and re-evaluate what it is you truly want. Would you want someone to question if they wanted you or not??? Relationships are not simple but if your not truly happy then it'll never work. Be true to yourself first.
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reader, pops +, writes (28 September 2005):
Just from reading what you say about him not calling you tells me it is over as far as he is concerned. Whatever went wrong, I think it is too late to fix. End it with a kind note to him, or message on his answering machine, and find someone who will appreciate you more for who you are. The reason we date is t find out if we are truly compatible with someone, and if so, can we develop the relationship with trust, and love, and plans for a common future. It does not always work out. That is why it is called dating, and not marriage. Pity our ancestors whose marriages were arranged to people they had never met.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2005): The only person who can decide if your relationship is worth it-is YOU and HIM. Time to have a good chat with him and get some honest, open answers. Just remember, a healthy relationship is characterized by balance and intimacy. An unhealthy relationship is characterized by being out of balance, with intimacy & contact diminishing on a rapid curve.
There will be gut feelings that will inform you that "something is wrong." These feelings should be trusted. As they are trusted, they will begin to clarify what is going wrong in the relationship. For instance, diminishing intimacy, lack of sex, which usually begins with the distaste for kissing, lack of contact, fewer common goals. But above all, what you will feel is a closing of the heart, and everything in the relationship is then open to criticism. When this begins, something is wrong. I'd be honest with your bf that things have changed, and then head to couple counseling (or on your own if he doesn't go) to see if you could repair the relationship and if it is...worth it. A little work with a pro could reveal why it is that you have begun to feel discontent with this relationship. Good luck!
Hugs,
Irish
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (28 September 2005):
 I don't even have to read the reasons you have given for thinking about ending your relationship with this man, the fact that you have written this tells me everything I need to know. A relationship is a very special thing and our instincts are often right about the decision we should go with so trust them. The fact that you felt the need to even ask the question of whether it's worth saving to people who don't even know the pair of you tells me you know deep down, it's over. We have the answers to all our questions somewhere inside us so listen to your instincts.
After a break up and a getting back together, things are rarely the same and he doesn't sound like he has much interest in keeping you happy or keeping the relationship going. Don't make the same mistake twice, get out and find someone who makes you happy. True love is when there are no question marks above it and you'll know when that happens. Good luck :)
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