A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been really lonely. So I find myself going back to an ex to get over the loneliness. I have been dating him for about three months so far. But I have known him for 9 years. We dated a while back, got married, then divorced. We were officially divorced on my birthday two years back. I stayed friends with him, and that was it. But I find myself going back to him still... Why am I bothering? He is just mean all the time, criticizing everything, and always saying I'm going to cheat on him. What should I do, just deal with my loneliness and move on, or stay and be miserable?? The very worst part is, I am in love, completely and verily, with my best friend.. Who I have known since I was five. He's known me since I was two. I love him, and I can't tell him, because I'm scared I would lose him in every way, if I tell him that. Can anyone help me, and tell me what I could do? Even when I was married to who I'm with now, I was in love with my best friend. Help! [personal email blocked per site guidelines]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): Hi am writing you because i need advise on deciding between two people. One a guy I have been dating for three months now and two a girl that i just met about a month ago she lives far away so it would be a long distance thing and I have never been in a long distance relationship. They are both great people but she is like intoxication fun and kind he is fun but in a much more dry way he is sweet and i really care about him he makes me feel safe and i dont think anyone has ever cared about me as much as he has. I realize someone is going to get hurt but I need help deciding
thanks
A
female
reader, Jamz  +, writes (5 August 2009):
Hi there!
Firstly can i just say that i think the reason you are still going back to your ex is loneliness and a fear of not being able to find a better relationship. I think you should leave and learn to make yourself happy, you shouldn't depend on a man for that. He sounds a bit paranoid and you dont need anybody putting you down as in the long run those words will stick with you and make you doubt yourself.
If you feel you are in love with your best friend i recommend you telling him. Tell him you don't want it to make things awkward between you both and let him know that ruining your friendship is the last thing you want to do but not telling him how you feel and missing out on the possibility of him feeling the same which would make you happy. Remember that a good friendship is the perfect base to every relationship and the fact that your best friend knows you better than anyone else and you probably know him the same sounds perfect. Love is worth the risk! I say speak now or forever hold your peace!
Good luck with everything, i hope it goes in your favour!
Jamz x
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