A
female
age
36-40,
*rokenbrokenbroken
writes:I've been dumped by my boyfriend of 2 years, toally out of the blue when all had been going well for months no arguments or drama. we had a small argument one morning before he left for work, all day he didnt message me ( which he usually does all the time) i finshed work at 7pm he was due to finish at 8. i finished work and went home, waited till bout 9. then startd to realise his stuff was gone from our home of 1 yr. of course i started to freak then walked (i dont have my lisence) down the local pub to see if he was there. he wasnt, so i started ringing, no answer, after a bit he messaged saying “not gona answer just get over it” so i took a freinds car and drove illegally into town to find him and see what was wrong. I found him later that night leaving a freinds house, we went home, when we got there he sat quietly and said ” im so sorry i just can do this anymore, i have to go, i have to be alone, its all too much” (he works lot of hours at work, normally 6 days a week) he then left agian, few days later i saw him he said ” your just not enough of a people person, you need to find out who you are and i need to sort myself out” this was a week and a half ago now and since then ive been in an emtional coma, he since asked me to move all my **** out of our house, even when he knows ive got no where to go excpt my mums tiny empty house, i have no freinds here as they have all moved away and my whole life down here has been him! ive never lived alone, never not had a boyfreind, i know im the needy type but this week of punishment has shown me i can be a better person, ive explained that to him but he says its not enough. oh i forgot to mention i have been best freinds with this person fo 8 years prior to this relationship! he even lived with me my old boyfreind so he knew who i was from the start….. im so lost and very suicdal, iv got no one to keep me busy, no licence so i cant go anywhere cept the tiny country town we live in. i work alone so my time here is very hard too. i know no one can help me but im just reaching out for anyones advice on what i can do to get my happy home and life back before i decide its all too hard and leave this world forver. I know i could prove to him I've changed if he would let me but every time I've been back to the house more and more of my stuff is packed and left by the door, and still he hasnt tried to contact me once!!!! anyone help what can i do????? love to anyone who reads this.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 September 2009):
He isn't coming back young lady. Try very hard to move on with your life before you get very hurt. x
A
female
reader, brokenbrokenbroken +, writes (21 September 2009):
brokenbrokenbroken is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi everyone thanks heaps for taking the time out write back! i understand what all of u r stayin bout movin on finding a new life but the thing is i dont want a new life, i was with my previous bf for 8 years and loved the guy i just split with for that whole time, to be honest the only reson i split with my 8 year guy was i had a chance with this guy! hes always been my dream reality! now ive had him i know ive never and will never be so happy! ive never known him so behave so cruel or thoughtless or so angrily to anyone and all our freinds are all shocked and dunno whats gotten in to him either, one freind who knows him VERY well said, hes being a dog to you but sometimes ppl act like assholes when there hurting. i can wait...... to get him back..... but is he ever gonna let me?...... p.s anyone got msn messenger would love ppl to live chat too when im here all alone xox
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 September 2009):
This is your moment to change. You've said you don't have a license. Make that your priority. Then you can move away ang get a better job.
It sounds as if this guy wasn't the best bet for you. A man who can just walk out and not say anything is cruel. There are better men around. Find another one, one who likes you for who you are and doesn't need you to change. You shouldn't have to change for the right man because he will like you as you are.
If you are suicidal, please speak to someone. There are other men out there and it would be a tragedy if you did anything before finding that out.
Best wishes and lots of luck in the future. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): I know how you feel because I was in a similar situation about a year and half ago.It's hard feeling so alone and sad, but the best thing that you can do is take this as the next step in your life. That's what I did. Now you have the chance to turn your life into whatever you want it to be. You can move away, get a new job and start working on yourself instead of focussing on a man who doesn't even appreciate you.It's hard to accept, but I think you should realise it's time to move on. It doesn't seem like he is ready or mature enough to be in a relationship.Take this situation as a lesson and start putting yourself first. Focus on what you want your life to be. Trust me, it's the best thing you can do for yourself. Take a hard look at who you are and who you want to be. Work towards making yourself a better, happier person. It may not seem possible, but you will be happier. Each day you will feel better because you're strong and good thngs can and will come out of this situation.Don't give up. There is a light at the end of the tunnel :)All the very best x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): Im Christine.
He is an ass! Do you see that? First off he didnt even talk to you about this! He just got some of his stuff moved out of the house, and left without letting you know what was going on! That is extremely selfish and immature. You got worried!
Second, he's got no right to pack your things together! They are your belongings! You live in this house as well, you pay your part of the bills right? So he's got no right to try and kick you out.
You two need to start being adults and sit down and talk thsi out. Not talking out how to be a couple again, that ship has sailed. You need to talk out with him where you go from here, who's moving where and WHEN. He can not just throw you out because it suits him!
He's a jerk.
What you need to do now is think about your options. You have to move, thats for sure. Do you want to continue living in this town or find a job elsewhere? For the beginning I suggest that you find out how much you earn a month, and how much you can afford. Rent your own place. You are a grown woman with her own job! You can live alone. Find a place close to your job that is affordable. And you HAVE to talk to your ex about your plans. Tell him you are looking for a place to rent, and until then YOU ARE GOING TO STAY IN THE HOUSE. So he must stop acting like a child and packing your things together.
I'm bookmarking this question if you want to add more comments or have more questions.
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A
female
reader, Leo11  +, writes (21 September 2009):
You could live with your mom for a while until you make enough money to rent out a place of your own. It sounds like you have one or two friends whom you may be able to open up to and tell your dilemma to. Just remember that you aren't alone in this world. Sometimes it takes us a couple of hard knocks to become self reliant. The only way through this is to stay positive. Try listening to inspirational music if you have nobody to talk to. If you have no friend you can really open up to, you can always try talking to people on anonymous forums. Maybe your boyfriend never acknowledged his unhappiness because he feared that he would hurt you. But ultimately, nobody can bottle up emotions for long enough. His way of ending it may have been a little immature, but he may have found communicating with you about the problems a little hard. Don't try to salvage this relationship, it sounds like it is over. Moving on is tough, but it is necessary. Maybe some time alone is exactly what you need to figure out how to find your own inner happiness. Don't give up so easily. I know it's hard, but life's like that. There are probably many people out there who have been through the same thing that you have. Most of them make it through stronger. Be a part of that majority. Take care. Hope I helped before you made any drastic choices.
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