A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met a woman about a year ago and have been seeing her at least weekly on a friend basis. We never go more than 2 days without chatting, texting, or hanging out eating/drinking together. The odd thing is that she has a boyfriend who she sleeps with on occasion. The boyfriend almost never spends any time with her, and she doesn't even know where he lives. Basicaly, he has sex with her and that's about it. At one point in the past, she told me she'd never sleep with me, and has said I was "too nice" when her friends suggested she date me instead. I'm not sure what to do with this. I want to be her boyfriend. The only difference between us being girlfriend and boyfriend now is that we don't sleep with each other. Can anyone offer suggestions on how to get out of the "friend zone" with her?
View related questions:
has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): I feel your pain. I'm in a similar boat. I think the other anon reader gave some good advice. My best to you.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 April 2010):
 I know this won't sound very kind,but- haven't you thought that she might just not find you physically attractive ? Which by the way it does not mean you must be ugly . Just that you are not her type. She said that she'd never sleep with you. And she said to friends that you are "too nice " which in girlspeak means not sexy. When a woman says you are too nice to date you she does not mean that she won't date you because you are too polite, respectful, considerate, attentive etc. etc. She just means that she feels no chemistry, that you give her no exciment chills down her spine.
Luckily the world is full of women and each one has different tastes. If you don't get fixated on this one and look around you, you might very well find someone who thinks you are nice AND sexy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): I think this girl sees you more of a friend than a boyfriend, and although her actual boyfriend treats her like rubbish she at the end of the day is choosing to be with him so to speak. I think you shouldn't be looking at her like a girlfriend if she has a boyfriend, maybe you should try getting involued with someone more single, suitable and avaliable for you - who knows, you move on and this girl may realise what she is missing and want more with you however there is a silm chance of that. I would say don't hold your breath for this girl - if she wanted you as her boyfriend then no doubt you would be her boyfriend by now.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): Man, you are in bad shape. You are in deep. I feel for you.First, you need to realize that there are 3 billion women in the world. This one you chanced to meet isn't the end-all, be-all.You have a lot of time invested in your friendship, so I wouldn't be so quick to throw it away.I think the best thing for you to do is to put some distance between the two of you. This will make her miss you and it will give you a time to be away from her. What you need to do (and this is the only way to get out of the friend zone) is to go date other women.But don't be needy and wussy and bending to their every need. She might see what she's missing and you will find that maybe your friend isn't the only woman for you and maybe she wasn't that great to start with (yes, I know. it sounds impossible). The bad thing here is she said she'd never have sex with you. That's not a tease. That's what she feels.
...............................
|
