A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I recently met a guy from a dating site, we hit it off straight away. He lived in another state but was moving home to my state within a week. We spoke in the phone for about 9 hours in the first 3 days and the day he came home we caught up that night. We were both instantly attracted to each other and decided to become exclusive. We caught up the next day for lunch and were constantly calling and texting when we were apart. I had my children the following week but it felt so right that I decided he could meet them. He came down on the Wednesday night and had dinner with us. They really liked him, after he left he called me and said that he was in love with me. I went to a Tupperware party on the Friday night and he said he was going to visit his uncle. We all caught up on the Saturday and had a great day playing mini golf and he stayed for dinner that night. He also came down and spent a couple of hours with me on the Sunday. Then when I was at work in the Tuesday I was talking to a co worker telling her about him. A few minutes later she came up to me and said he had also met with someone from work on the Friday night...not his uncle. I confirmed this with him and he said it was just drinks and she wasn't for him and I was the one which is fine but what I can't get past is the lie, and the fact he had lied to me all week by pointedly saying he wasn't chatting with any one else after he chatted with me, he had no other dates lined up and he hadn't given his number to anyone else. I hadn't asked him any of this but he gave himself the opportunity to lie to me about it all. I was devastated after everything he had said about how he felt for me. We spoke k on the phone that night and I said I just couldn't get passed the lie but what if he was the one? The next day I decided to give it another try but to take it slowly. We were to meet on the Friday night but I ended up calling it off. Now I'm confused, have I done the right thing. If I did contact him again what would I say after calling it off, then in then off again. Please help
View related questions:
at work, co-worker, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 March 2013):
 How did your colleague know he did not meet his uncle?
my take: you guys are flying way too fast... SLOW DOWN
if you really like him, slow down and give him a second chance... but know that maybe he had this date with the other woman planned in advance and could not get out of it.. or did not want to because that's rude... who knows...
he lied.. but I can see why... you two are moving at lighting speed....
tread carefully....
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (12 March 2013):
 Hi
It was all way too fast the whole thing and him telling you he was in love, big red flag.
He didn't just tell one lie either, whats more your colleague knew somehow that he had met a woman on the Friday, how she knew I don't know. Was it her?
I don't know if you should just leave it as it is, over, or give him a chance. Ask yourself if you can honestly trust him again.I know I wouldn't.
However you do seem attracted so maybe new rules and fresh start and move slower.Last chance for him
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): If you wanto give him a second chance go ahead, just dont wear your heart on the sleeve and keep your eyes and ears open. Trust is earned and this guy has a long way to get there.
...............................
A
female
reader, cute angel +, writes (12 March 2013):
 You seem to really like this guy OP! so he told a lie which is unexceptable given your just getting to know each other and would jump to conclusions real fast! having said that can u get past this lie?If yes then you should have a one on one conversation with this guy and tell him you were really hurt with a lie, and you would really appreciate it if he was honest with you and you don't want to start a relationship based on a lie..If u can't get past this lie OP then u still do require closure, its good for both him and you! He needs to know why you're breaking up and tell him the reason and what hurts you! you can't keep a relationship going knowing the trust is lost..If I were I would let this slide giving him a warning cuz if I'm that compatible with someone I would want to work it out!Good luck 0P:)
...............................
|
