A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help! I think my boyfriend is sleeping with his younger sister! I have no proof, what should I do?They both smoke pot, and talk about porn and things....He has even told me that he thinks his sister looks like Angelina Jolie (v.unlikely) and this was just before we were about to have sex....Other friends try to keep away from them, I have no proof..I have raised the issue to him, but he walked off, and we never spoke about it again. I don't know whether I'm going mad, but I'm constantly thinking about it, I feel sick...... I don't have any proof, but thy are always together, they act like a couple, they go cinema together, have the same social group, he has always dated her friends (7 in total), and they even go out on meals together with other ppl, I honestly don't know what to do. I am a rational person, but am at this point where I think I'm going mad.....She even talks about the size of his penis in passing conversation...please help me!
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (5 April 2011):
 We are focusing on the wrong thing...
But to satisfy your question... Your rationale is being wrongly influenced by your past.
1. What is the violent situation?
2. Family is not family if hey disown you for having someone of a different faith for a boyfriend.
They are a biologically connected group of scum bags, nothing more.
With that said, if he is the violent one, leave him.
If you are only with him, because he is your first, leave him.
If you want to lead a good, honest, and happy life, think for yourself.
Ask yourself this question. "After saying what I said about my relationship, would the sanctity of my relationship and possible marriage be solid? Would I have married for love? Would I have married love him only and forsake all others? Or, would I marry, secretly love others, and still forsake them, because of societal and familial pressures and blackmailing?"
I already know the answer. Do you?
A
female
reader, Fran Rose +, writes (15 May 2009):
To be honest it sounds like they have a really close relationship. And the fact her dated her friends doesnt mean that he lieks her its proberly because they are close she set him up with them.
If you really feel that uncormftable then i suggest you leave the relationship becaus eyour only going to get more hurt in the long run if it is true.
There was an episode on friends once when rachel dated this bloke and he had a really wird relationship with his sister and she left him because she couldnt handel it. I really think that you have got to think is this really worth it? Becuase you either live with it and ignore them or leave him and find some one else.
No one can tell you what to do hun its got to be you.
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): Um... Don't think like that girl. She is his freaking sister. Siblings can be really close but that doesn't mean they fuck each other. I think the problem is with you. You mentioned that you were abused by your uncle in your childhood so probably you don't trust any kind of close relationships as they are now. If my gf ever asks me if I'm fucking my sister or not then I'd freaking break up with her no questions asked! I mean how can anyone even think such a vile thing? If she has suspicions about some other female friend then we can talk but my own freaking sister???? Thank you very much; I don't need a demented gf.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): To the female who posted on March 5, 2009, did your boyfriend say WHY he had sex with his sister? Do you think it might've happened when they were teenagers and it's been going on since then? I am wondering if they say any kind of sexual things in front of you (like specific sex acts like doggy-style, oral sex, anal sex, woman-on-top). What was the first sign you saw that makes you think he is having sex with his sister?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): No, I kept going on about it. Until one day he snapped and admitted over the phone 'yes, I do **** my sister'. Obviously he denied it afterwards. I know exactly what your going through.
It nearly gave me mental health issues, so get out, fast as you can! I'm still stuck. Trust your gut instinct, it is always right. If, you don't get out, it may skew your perception/morals.
This kind of relationship isn't going to give you anything but mental anguish.You are there only as a 'front', to protect their secret, your partner may have feelings for you, but he sounds like his got strong emotional feelings for his sister too, thats something you cannot compete with.
I feel sorry for you friend, but don't let this turn into self-hatred,because the day you do find some evidence, you will feel content and it will give you closure. Don't give up, find out, only way you will get over it.
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A
female
reader, daanxo +, writes (4 March 2009):
Girl who answered me from march 3rd
How did you find out? Was he open about it?
Or did you like walk in on something you shouldn't have
This is like jerry Springer shit, i'm so sorry!
But w/b
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): I'm still with him, as I have no concrete evidence. I don't know what to do? Help! I'm going almost insane, it makes my stomach churn to think about it like this! Please someone help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): Hey,girl who answered on 26th feb,I was going through the same thing and it turned out my boyfriend WAS sleeping with his sister! So i could prob help you out..sick i know :(
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female
reader, daanxo +, writes (26 February 2009):
Hi! i'm relating to the girl who posted about her boyfriend sleeping with his sister. I've been dating this guy for almost a year. everything is perfect blah blah except.. the fact that i think hes sleeping with his sister. They are ODDLY close, and i come from a normal family and blah blah. They always go on "blunt rides" together to smoke pot, they joke about having sex together infront of me, they are constnatly flirting and making inside jokes, they have nick names for things. He's constnatly going, wow you remind me of my sister.. or "Oh, my sister loves to do that" It makes me wonder why he's constantly got her on his mind. I literally invision walking in the house and seeing them cuddling on the couch, i cant even describe to you little things that they have done because i feel akward annoucning them to the public. But my point is, I think my boyfriend is cheating on me with his sister. Just knowing someone would cheat in it self grosses me out, but your fucking sister? I get sick to my stomach when they hang out, and usually if you have a gut feeling you should go with it. He wanted to be with his sister late at night on his birthday and leave my house because he hasnt seen her all day. Like cant you see her tomorrow? I dont know what to do! Please help me.
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A
male
reader, 14all +, writes (25 December 2008):
Dump this guy. Doesn't matter whether he's sleeping with this sister or not, he's rude and disrespectful to you and doens't seem to care about your feelings, and gee, on top of that he's a stoner.
You can do better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): Okay, I am a male who is very close to his sister but has never had any sexual contact with her. NEVER even thought about it. I do understand your concern though. My sister is like my best friend. We talk about everything. I can't really see what makes you think he is sleeping with his sister from your info given. Is it going around amongst their friends or something, because if not then I think there's nothing for you to be losing sleep over. You may be looking into something that's not there. Just because a guy is really close to his sister doesn't mean he's sleeping with her. Another thing, is their family really close in general? They may just have been raised to be close and look out for each other. Maybe they went through something horrible in the past that has bonded them so close. I don't think there is an issue unless there are rumours going around that they have.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): As a girl who is very close to her brother i think you should take a step back, try looking at it from a different point of veiw. My brother and i spend alot of time togteher and we tell each other everything, including stuff about our relationships. I'm not saying your wrong but it may just be you overreacting to the situation. i know that its ok to be really close to your brother or sister because they're always there for you, and if you had past abuse(like me ) than try going to someone because you can never have a healthy relationship until you do. i know that from experience, and it took me years to get to the point here i can trust men again, and now i have a great boyfriend who understands what happened and has accepted it. i nolonger throw myself at men and can happily go through everyday. if you still think something is going on between your boyfriend and his sister then get out of it, and if you don't think you can because of your dependency go to a shelter until you get the help you need. as for your family, they will always love you no matter what i've learned that the hard way, you should trust their judgement and have more faitrh in them, even if you have to leave them due to the violence try to keep contact let them know you just want things to be better. i hope that some of what i said will help you, or at least that you can figure this out.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): Well, what specifically makes you think your boyfriend is banging his sister? You say they do a lot of things together, talk about porn, smoke pot, and that she talks about the size of his penis, etc. but have you seene evidence of some kind of flirtation or sexual communication with them? Do they hug on each othe or hold hands or hold on to each other when they are together? I don't understand what you see that makes you think they are having sex with each other.
And to the last poster, I have the same questions. What makes you think your friend and his gorgeous sister have a weird relationship? Do they also hang or hug on each other a lot or flirt or show sexual interest in each other? Have you asked other people if they have noticed the same thing about your friend and his sister? I wonder if you are maybe just jealous of his sister because she is gorgeous and is always hanging around him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): I am facing the similar problem, he's not my bf but a guy I really liked and we have been talking about going out. But he always hangs out with his sister and they are oddly close. His sister is gorgeous also, they have a million pictures together or he takes pictures of her in really sexy poses. At first it was cute they're so close, but now it's weird. They also smoke pot together and things. I wouldn't say they're sleeping together but there is some kind of weird relationship.
Sorry this doesn't help much, I should probably do some of the same things these people are suggesting. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. Its great you say you're highly rational. I am not :(. I can be insanely jealous so maybe I'm imagining the whole thing.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): From what you described, it sounds like he might be having sex with his younger sister. The fact that he walked away when you asked him about it is a dead giveaway, especially since he didn't even try to deny it. One way to find out for sure is the next time his sister mentions the size of his penis, ask her how she knows how big his penis is, and ask her when was the last time she saw it. Ask her what she thought about his penis and if she liked the way it looked, etc. Talk about what you think of when you see a guy's penis and see if she starts talking about her brother's penis in a sexual way. Another more devious way to find out if they're having sex is to try to befriend his sister. Try to become really good friends with her (do nice things for so she will like you). Once you become such good friends that you start sharing secrets with each other, you should be able to get her to tell you if she's having sex with her brother or not.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): Hi there,
I have no problem with incest as long as it is completely of age, consensual and there is no history of abuse; but that's besides the point. If it's happening then he's cheating on you, . If anything let him know that you're still his friend, try to talk it out with him. If he really doesn't want to talk about it then that's up to him. If push comes to shove and you don't feel comfortable with the relationship anymore, you can at least tell yourself "I tried" and you have the option to choose.
Hope this helps.=)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2007): It sounds sick, but remember our gut instincts! They are almost always right! There is such thing as too close...specialy when his sisters needs start coming before your own (or his personal relationships). I don't even think I'd give it anymore time...get out of there before your head realy gets mess up! Something is wrong and your warning signs are ringing off the roof! Go with your gut and find a normal guy!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2007): Hey...whoa...slow down here on your assumptions with your boyfriend and his sister. What is happening here is you are allowing "your mind to take over your own intelligence" and your conciousness! Be careful because sometimes your own mind can be your worst enemy...so take a deep breath and meditate young lady. To even bring up this assumption to your boyfriend and even ask him, well sorry to say you totally "insulted him and his intellegence." Of course not, the're not sleeping together!!! You have to understand that many brothers and sisters can have a great special family bond because there is the amount of trust as a family, so they of course are allowed to go out and eat at restaurants and go to the movies and this is totally a family thing and not at all close to what you are assuming. Why are you feeling insecure?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi, I'm feeling so guilty that my boyfriend maybe be involved in a sexual relationship with his younger sister, that I don't know what to do.....I feel like I have done something wrong. I have no substanial proof that it may have happened, but its a 'gut-feeling'....The only reason I'm in the relationship is because he was my 'first' partner....I was abused as a child by a uncle, and don't know whether this maybe affecting by rationale, but it is tormenting me.....I don't have the courage to confront him, and am always on edge when he is with his younger sister (she is 25 yrs)....I can't leave him, because he knows that I need his support, as there is a violent situation at home, and he has always supported me.I don't want to leave my family for him (he is of a diff faith, that my family won't accept, and if, I choose him I will be disowned), but am scared that if I do, and find out later that there was something happening between the two, that it maybe too late for me to return back to my family. I am not prepared to be involved with someone who may have done this in the past, the only reason holding me back is that I may love him, hence the clouding of my judgement......please help me, I'm losing sleep and weight.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhelp!!!!!!! Is there anyone else out there who have have faced the same predictment as me, in regards to them suspecting that their boyfriend may have slept with his sister, and what they may have done to resolve the situation...... I feel like I'm going mad, help!
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female
reader, sunrise +, writes (5 July 2007):
 Hi, If my partner were to ask me about the relationship i had with my brother in that way i wouldn't just walk away! i'm sure that i would be and act horrified that we were giving that impression and that he needed to ask, i would do everything in my power to prove to them that it was harmless, family love, not just to defend my own morals but to protect my brother.
I'm not saying that i think there is anything going on but i feel that you need to confront him again, if he still ignores you then you should walk away, no reaction is a tad suspicious.
The relationship will never work when you have those kind of thoughts tormenting you. Talk to him you need an honest explanation. Good luck x
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (5 July 2007):
 This is a very difficult one, like YummyMummy says if you are uncomfortable and really think something is going on walk away.
I always go with my gut feeling and to this day it has never let me down.
Take care.xx.
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female
reader, jtaunton5410 +, writes (5 July 2007):
 You for sure need to talk to him and tell him that he needs to be upfront and honest with you. You should tell him how you are feeling about this and that you are uncomfortable because of the wierd closeness that him and his sister have. Communicating is the best thing to do. I understand that brothers and sisters love eachother because I love my brother to death but I would never talk about the size of his member. That should be a red flag right there that they really dont think very appropriatley of eachother. I hope everything works out for you.
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female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (5 July 2007):
 If you really are uncomfortable and rwally think something is going on I would think about ending the relationship. Are you sure it's just not in your head. I'm not saying you're mad or anything. Just sometimes we look deeper in to things than we really need to.
xxxxxx
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