A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I started dating my boyfriend (age 21) around 5 months ago. At this point, his sister (age 24), lived with his parents and he lived out of home.Within the first months of dating, his sister's behaviour was a litle questionable, and quite frankly, made me feel totally uncomfortable. When my boyfriend and I went over to his parents house, his sister called us into her room. She wanted our help to pick out a dress for her work party. She tried on about 5/6 dresses and would be stripping down into just her undies every time, with her breasts fully exposed. She would then proceed to talk to us like it was no big deal. Another incident was when the three of us went back to my boyfriend's house after a few drinks. His sister stripped down into her undies and walked straight up to her brother and asked for one of his tops. She called out his name about 3 or 4 times and until he turned around to speak to her (her wearing only her undies). After about a few months of dating, my boyfriend and his sister moved into a new house together. Since then a lot of odd things have been happening.... everytime my boyfriend and I are spending time together she will call to see where he is... She always is walking around in a short top and skimpy undies... She is always knocking on his door when it's shut... Sorry for the long story here but I'm going crazy and need people's opinions of my situation! I don't know whether she is trying to put me off or if something is going on! I have brought it up with him before and he says that that is normal behaviour from her and brushed off the conversation....
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 March 2013):
 with your update, you have an issue. if your boyfriend is not standing up to her and trying to get more alone time with you, then you have to wonder why?
A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (12 March 2013):
Wow -
nevermind my first post here - definitely not normal. This is a conversation you and your boyfriend need to have. Soon.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would also like to note that just recently, my boyfriend moved a few of his things into his parents house while they were away for the week. He did this so that he and I could have some alone time, not just sexually, but so we could just spend time with just the two of us. He set up his bedroom in the lounge room and I stayed there for 3 nights. I finished work at around 8. The first night I stayed there, his sister randomly came over to get some clean sheet (whicht they already have at their house). This occured at around 10:30. On the second night when I came over, she was already there laying on the couch watching movies. She left eventually, but only after I went and got spare clothes from my house and came back again. On the third night, while we were having tea, his sister called 5 times. Twice on his mobile and 3 times on the home phone, until he finally picked up. He went outside to speak to her. When he come back in I asked him if everything was okay and he said that she just wanted to talk about work and their pet kitten. Later on that night she randomly came over again, walking around in her high heels. I don't know what the reason was that time.. I just found it strange that he moved 20 minutes accross town to get some space from her and she was there every night. Thoughts???
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the answers, it's great reading everyone's different views. To answer a few questions asked within the answers... as for the parents, they are very normal as far as I'm aware. When the sister started doing weird things around my boyfriend and I, my boyfriend spoke to his mother about it and she did acknowledge the fact that she is weird. We've been together for 5 months, and although I'd like to think it will be long term, I find it difficult to be a peace when I know that they are both at home together. Unfortunatly, I have a creative mind and am letting this situation take over control in my mind and create situations (probably) that aren't even happening. I really feel as though she is doing all these things to try to put me off him, so she can have him all to herself. Whether it be in a sexual way or not... I feel like she is trying to shut me out, and it is working. I'm a modest person, and I'm not going to 'compete' with her agenda to gain all of his attention. As far as I'm concerned I do have his full attention, as far as in a sexual and romantic sense... But when it comes to the sister's actions, I sometimes have my doubts.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 March 2013):
I'm with CMMP, just because she's comfortable being nude around her brother does not mean something sexual is going on...
IT's her house, if she wants to walk around in her undies that's her choice especially if she's always done it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): There are some females ( I'm a RMN) who like to flirt and have attention even from their own siblings, the reasons why they do it are wide and largely about gaining confidence with the opposite sex, they do not intend to take it further but enjoy the reaction and attention they receive. However... There are brothers and sister who enter into sexual relationship with each other, even while being in relationships themselves getting married having kids..Her behaviour is off the radar and you have every right to be concerned, even with them moving in together.. I mean you cannot monitor them and really if you need to, what kind of relationship is that ?May I ask how long you both have been together? Are you both looking at this as a long term thing ? Until you get an engagement ring, the ball very much in his court .If this was my situation I wouldn't hesitate to say that sharing a house with her is a big no no her behaviour is inappropriate to say the least and if he doesn't have an issue with it, then maybe he needs to look at it from a different angle. Do you have a brother ? Pose those certain incidents to him and ask him, to put himself in your place and for him to honestly answer that he would be cool with it? I would tread careful here, as even I have my doubts on the integrity of their relationship, sorry sweetie.Take care x
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A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (12 March 2013):
Families that are brought up to be shameless about their own bodies behave like this around one another. Any family that's vacationed to nude or topless beaches, naturist retreats, etc. will likely display some degree or another of comfort bearing themselves in front of one another.This is what happens when we disassociate the nude state from sexuality.Being naked doesn't necessarily mean being sexual. When the feelings of shame and embarrassment about our nude bodies are realized to be an invention of victorian era christianity, and put into their appropriate place, this sort of behavior is much more common than people think. There's nothing sexual, immoral, or wrong about it.On the other hand, if you, the OP are made uncomfortable by it, then your BF really does need to respect that, and explain to his sister that this isn't ok.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (12 March 2013):
 Wow! His sister is exhibiting totally inappropriate behaviour. I'm surprised you've been so cool about the whole thing. Does she also do this in front of her parents? If yes, then I guess that's normal for the family. Does her mom also walk around half naked or in revealing clothes? Does his sister have a boyfriend?
You are right to be suspicious.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answer. It is his biological sister, and as far as I know there is no past history of sexual abuse.
I am disgusted majority of the time I'm at their house. Although since them sharing the house, he did speak to her about the nudity and as far as I'm aware, she has kept that to the bedroom. In saying that, she is always walking around the house in a singlet with no bra and skimpy undies, and it's almost as though she wants him to have a look. It's really doing my head in and it's greatly affecting my relationship. And I really hope nothing sexual is going on between them.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (12 March 2013):
 wow, i can't lie, i started to feel a little uneasy and disgusted while reading this post. that's very bizarre and questionable. i can't blame you for feeling uncomfortable.
is this his biological sister? or is it a step-sister situation?
i can't even begin to imagine undressing like that in front of my brother. now if it was two brothers or two sisters, that might be a bit different. i don't really know because i don't have a sister, so i can't relate. but certainly not opposite sex family members. that's just gross and awkward.
perhaps it is just normal for their relationship, but i don't any many people who share this viewpoint. i would try not to worry about it, seeing as how this is his sister.
could it be possible she has experienced some sort of history with sexual abuse? odd question i know, but just wanted to ask.
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