A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 21 years old and have an 18 month old son with my boyfriend. I had changed my whole life for him. when i was going to college i invited him to visit me but never did he come so we descided that i was going to transfer my credits to a college in nyc. A couple months later i found out that i was pregnate and my days of talking to my close friends and some of my family members were over. Everytime i go out with my mother or his theres always an arguement. im definitly not the independent person i was when i was younger. i now stay home cooking and cleaning doing nothing sometimes i would like to just go to the library with out having to feel so uneasy when i go out. I dont know what i should? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, romany  +, writes (25 June 2010):
 I think that you need to seek medical help, I'm not a dr/physician, but if your on edge, unable to control your emotions, hence disagreement with loved ones, then your something is making you anxious, so you really do need to see your physicin to help with this anxiety.
You should write down how you feel physically when your getting ready to go out, and how you feel when your out, and how you feel when your on your way home, The reason why you feel like this is unimportant at the moment, the anxiety takes away all rational thought, but by writing down everything, this will help you to understand what your triggers are.
I've suffered with re-occuring agrophobia, i've had severe bouts for short periods, but for a majority of time, its mild to middling, for just over 6 years now. I never tackled it in time, and you should be very proud of yourself that you've spotted this so early on, because what is happening to you, is exactly what happened to me, but i ignored it. But again i reiterate, i'm not diagnosing you.
Agrophobia is a fear of open spaces and/or lots of people, I become anxious, snappy and sometimes petrified to be outside, of what i call, my safe places. These safe places are my car, my daughters home, my sons home, a few public places, where i'm familiar with exits, and obviously my home.
Mine happened after some major changes in my life, when i lost confidence in myself, and my whole life changed, turning upside down and inside out, i was lost. I have regained alot of myself, however, I still feel vulnerable at times, and that is when I have episodes.
There are so many things that could be the cause of your anxiety, and the reasons why are unimportant at the moment, (altho i know you want to know) meanwhile you need to see dr to get help with the anxiety, thats when the reasons your like this will come.
A few things i've found that helped me prevent attacks, and when i'm suffering with an anxiety attacks are:
*iPod, playing some of your favourite uplifting music,not loud-just sets nerves on edge if its loud
*If your going out alone, something to fddle with in your fingers.
*When you start to feel anxious, touch each finger to your thumb, starting with your little finger to thumb, then moving across then back again, in a rhythm whilst breathing deeply.
*Take kitchen roll in your pocket, to wipe your brow, the anxiety sweats can cause embarrassment ontop of feeling on edge.
*If you have stroller/pushchair and baby with you, count your steps, while you sing your favourite song in your head, this helps distract you from the feeling quelling up.
*Look for some local mum and toddler groups in your area, and set yourself a goal to visit one day soon. Dont put pressure on yourself, but set a goal.
This is just a blip, your not going crazy, but you can't leave things like this, otherwise it will spiral out of control.
Like i said, see your Physician and please if you need to chat, with someone who is completely understanding of what your going thru, just drop me a line thru here, I'm more than happy to listen to you.
Let me know please how you get on. x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): The reason why i feel so uneasy because i feel like i will be watched constantly since we know the same people and have the same friends. its as if im under servailance sometimes and we are alway arguing cuz i want to do the things i use to do like just go to the park and read a bookk or just hang with my mom...theres always a you cant go or why do you want to go out .. sometimes i feel as if im trapped and i cant do anything with out letting him know.. like every move i make he wants to know..
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 June 2010):
The big question is why are you so uneasy when you got out? That's the problem, and we need to know why you feel that way.
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